One example of a predator using facebook to harass his victims and obtain more enablers is Douglas Beckstead
Would you want this predator meeting your children at christmas? No neither would i! so run as fast as you can from Beckstead if you ever happen to come across him.
Beckstead is one of the WORST predators apart from serial killers that I have ever ever read about. This guy is sick and depraved. Please show your support and check out The Beckstead Exposure Site for more information.
For people as self-absorbed and seemingly uninterested in you as malignant narcissists are, they are very snoopy. They go through your drawers and papers. They are looking for dirt, and they are trying to find out if you're on to them. Hence, like all abusers, they often spy on and stalk their victims.
Narcissists stalk prey on the Web, as well. Often they do this by posing as a victim and trying to initiate contact with some hurting person who posts in a group or blog. Therefore, when posting to any group or blog, you should use a screen name and be leery of forming a relationship with anyone out there who emails you privately and tries to strike one up with you.
Psychopaths view any social exchange as a "feeding opportunity," a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner. Their motives are to manipulate and take, ruthlessly and without remorse. [Hare]
If you reply to the psychopaths correspondence, whether that be via email, phone or face to face you ought to know that: "To these violent men, control is like oxygen. Every sign of submission from others is like the breath of life, falsely confirming their delusion that only brute force affirms their worth. Failing to dominate a woman triggers loose a choking fear in these men, which they cannot face. That hidden fear is the truth that threatens their common delusion of godlike invincibility and exposes them as frightened little men, terrified of everyone and everything, including their own guilt. But guilt, for them, is intolerable." Source
Even when living together Gareth was always sniffing the wireless network to snoop on what i was doing online, He would go through my computer files & Mobile/Cell phone when I wasn't home too. He would ask our mutual friends what I had been doing, and who I had been talking to also. He was stalking me even when we were together. When we broke up? .....Nothing has changed.
Check out his comments and quotes in the image below - You can see his interests are People, Traveling, Money, & Success - Click Image To Enlarge.
I have recently come to learn that Gareth has made a facebook profile very recently. One of our mutual friends who informed me he "Disliked Gareth" & "Thought he was weird and creepy" has added him to his friends list.
Which means because Gareth and I both have a "Mutual Friend" in common on facebook , he can read what I write on my own profile, and possibly coerce our mutual friend into giving him information or turn him against me.
Click Image To Enlarge
Gareth and the "Mutual Friend" have not spoken since 2006 (or so I was told by the mutual friend) so WHY on earth would a psychopath who hasn't in the past or present EVER cared about his friends, suddenly add just this one Mutual Friend and not any of the others we used to share? could it be because these other "friends" are all aware of Gareth's Bulls****? I think so yes.
Or could it be because he wants to bump my blog down on google by adding more profiles? I am guessing yes again.
Gareth seems to believe that because I am "online" that my life is "online" however this is NOT the case. Stalking online is one of the predators modus operandi and one they never seem to give up, even 7 years later in some cases they are STILL doing it.
He stalks this blog, and has been stalking my other profiles for more than 2 years now.
In fact you might find (as all predators do) that your predator might start accusing YOU of stalking HIM online. Don't BUY into their BS.
Like physical abusers, emotional abusers will often stalk their former partners. The stalker's objective is often to control her through cultivating fear rather than making direct or specific threats, or confronting the her. This is a subtle form of terrorism, because abuse victims are often very emotionally (if not physically) afraid of their abusers once they wake up.
Gareth still WONT accept my boundaries, he STILL contacts me.
Comments On His Photo (above) - His Friends Appear To See What I See Too...(Click Image To Enlarge)
Ex-partners of abusers will often express fear of their abuser, and will have no desire to be anywhere near the abuser. On the other hand, the abuser may try to appear as if he is calm, rational, and still supportive of his ex-partner, despite the fact that he will also express the opinion that he believes she is quite unstable. (are you on the same boards? visit the same sites? But its YOU that is stalking him? Because the cyberpath cannot and will not maintain a cordial distance! But that's YOUR fault. LOL... NOT)
He will make statements such as saying that he "bears her no ill-will", etc., but then will show no respect for her boundaries ... The abuser will still inquire with friends as to how she is doing, implying that his inquiry is because he cares about her - he does care - about retaining those last vestiges of control, even after the breakup. What he really wants to know is if she is suffering or doing badly, because that feeds his sick ego. He feels best when he puts other people in as much pain as he is in. Source EOPC
Some predators go so far as to accuse his targets/victims of being PREDATORS (can you say PROJECTION?)
Predators are ANGRY at their victims. FOR TELLING THE TRUTH AND SEEKING HELP FOR THEIR TRAUMA. and for Ripping their Mask Of Sanity off leaving them exposed
They will say "see!! see how she is!! she's nuts and won't leave me alone! she's trying to manipulate me! She's stalking me!"
If you really want to help them? Expose them. Make them accountable. Don't let them scare you into silence. Help others stay away! Source EOPC
The Narcissist Feels entitled to your time, attention, admiration, and resources. Interprets every rejection as an act of aggression which leads to a narcissistic injury. Reacts with sustained rage and vindictiveness. Can turn violent because he feels omnipotent and immune to the consequences of his actions.
Best coping strategy
Make clear that you want no further contact with him and that this decision is not personal. Be firm. Do not hesitate to inform him that you hold him responsible for his stalking, bullying, and harassment and that you will take all necessary steps to protect yourself. Narcissists are cowards and easily intimidated. Luckily, they never get emotionally attached to their prey and so can move on with ease. If like me this doesn't work - ignore ALL correspondence from the psychopath. After 3 years Gareth still WONT accept my boundaries what's to say your predator will accept yours?
In short, the psychopath - and the narcissist to a lesser extent - is a predator. If we think about the interactions of predators with their prey in the animal kingdom, we can come to some idea of what is behind the "mask of sanity" of the psychopath. Just as an animal predator will adopt all kinds of stealthy functions in order to stalk their prey, cut them out of the herd, get close to them and reduce their resistance, so does the psychopath construct all kinds of elaborate camoflage composed of words and appearances - lies and manipulations - in order to "assimilate" their prey.
This leads us to an important quesion: what does the psychopath REALLY get from their victims? It's easy to see what they are after when they lie and manipulate for money or material goods or power. But in many instances, such as love relationships or faked friendships, it is not so easy to see what the psychopath is after. Without wandering too far afield into spiritual speculations - a problem Cleckley also faced - we can only say that it seems to be that the psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer. Just as normal humans enjoy seeing other people happy, or doing things that make other people smile, the psychopath enjoys the exact opposite.
Psychopaths make their way by conning people into doing things for them; obtaining money for them, prestige, power, or even standing up for them when others try to expose them. But that is their claim to fame. That's what they do. And they do it very well. What's more, the job is very easy because most people are gullible with an unshakable belief in the inherent goodness of man.
Once You Expose The Psychopath Expect Them To Do The Following:
- Smear you to everyone they can, including making up whole websites just to smear you (Pathologicals believe, like small children, if they SAY something - long enough & loud enough that people will believe them and it will supplant facts and become truth.)
- Harrass you, your friends or your family by phone, email or website postings (be sure to BLOCK their emails and instant messages or DO NOT REPLY - just save them. Don't READ THEM and DON'T TRY TO 'figure out what they mean.' They are mentally disordered and can't be figured out!
- If they threaten you or your family, go immediately to the authorities with all hard proof and if necessary, demand a report be filed.)
- Minimize, whitewash or twist the truth about what happened between you to their friends, family, spouse, partners, co-workers, anyone who will listen (and accuse you of doing all the things they did to you - i.e. Projection)
- Do everything they can to make YOU look like the sick, mentally ill or not credible person
- Use their friends/ spouses in denial, other predators, coworkers to help them discredit and smear you or harm you physical and psychologically.
- They may post on boards you belong to or hack a website if you have one.
Do not respond to your cyberpath/psychopath - but certainly tell the truth when asked and wherever you can. Get therapy to deal with the stress of the aftermath. Anyone who believes the cyberpath is not your problem.
To the Cyberpaths - Lie to everyone you can, if you must - but the truth remains. We know it, you know it and you can twist in the winds of your 'conveniently rewritten realities' but a lie is a lie. Be sure to read legal definitions before you accuse someone of slander, libel or defamation and don't be surprised when it backfires on you.
The Narcissistically injured on the other hand, cannot rest until he has blotted out a vaguely experienced offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him, or to outshine him.
It can never find rest because it can never wipe out the evidence that has contradicted its conviction it is unique and perfect. This archaic rage goes on and on and on. -Group Helplessness and Rage Ernest S. Wolf, MD
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin , hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip"
Gareth Edward(s) Rodger
Masks Of Sanity is an online blog offering advice, support and education for those who have fallen victim to the Psychopath/Narcissist. (NPD)
We explain why Narcissists behave the way they do, how they operate and how you can protect yourself from the Narcissist in society, in the home and online!
You can find my own personal experience with a psychopath in the links on the right. I have a very personal understanding of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I am proof that there is hope after abuse!