Here are some examples of the things Psychopaths say, from my own email files
"Only popped up for a few seconds but your letter was so kind and thoughtfull I couldnt deny it a reply."
On His Leaving Me - He Had It Planned Out & Wouldn't Tell Me- I Knew Something Was Wrong
Gareth told me to get rid of my mother or he wouldnt talk to me (when my mother came to visit) yet didn't talk to me even when I told my mother to go home!!!
Me: Are you planning on leaving?
Him: "no im not"
Me: "can you promise me that"
Then he walked out. So I follow upstairs
Me: Can we talk?
Him: " we are not talking go away, or i will have to go out again, ive got lots of work to do and i dont want to go out so go away"
Me: "Is this about work?"
Him: " yes its about work" (in a not so convincing voice.)
Me: "well im off out soon"
Him: "good go away."
I told him:"Researchers at the web site salary.com found that moms commonly perform 10 jobs: Housekeeper, cook, janitor, day care worker, computer operator, laundry worker, facilities manager, driver, chef, chief executive and psychologist."
His reply: Really... Well ask 1000 'moms' to apply for positions in those 10 sectors and see how many of those 1000 actually get a 'job' in any of them.
On His Spelling
Me: No sweety its Unconscious
Him: They should spell it MY WAY, it looks stupid spelt the other way.
On Secret Santa for Christmas For His Work Collegues
So can you think of some generic £5 something that a male or female would be happy with?
You know like toilet roll or something.
On Himself - Me Me Me - all copied and pasted in original form
"I was saving my cake in the foil in my lunchbox..I waited ages for it.. Where is my cake?"
All Email Entries Totalling 1 Week From When Gareth Took A Trip To Wales - For Work Supposedly
"Makes me realise how much I love you when i miss you. Hope your being good"
"I do hope your being good!"
"What have you been upto today? - Are you being good?"
"Please be good, no extra boyfriends. Are you ok - everything ok with us?"
"Can't wait to see you again and hope you've been super, duper good! (if I find any odd pairs of boxer shorts I'll get my sword out)."
On Our Relationship
"I can't stay with you because if I do I won't be able to go on holidays abroad anymore" (On finding out I was pregnant)
"I am going out because this noise bothers me, I will be back when you calm down" (When I was crying over our baby Hope who died a few weeks before after being born premature at 25 weeks)
"Don't wear make- up it makes you look slutty and unapproachable"
"Owned by QAZ3D" (Written on my ass when he was playing around with marker pens)
"I dont know if you understand what im saying, and if you cant then it furthur supports what im saying. "
"Why can't you go get the milk and bread? I have been at work all day" (On asking him to swing by the store which was on his route home from work - so it wasn't any extra work he had to do apart from get off his bike and pop into the shop)
"You're always pressuring me just leave me alone i'll help out with the housework when I am ready and not before"
"We can take this valentines day trip to Paris but you have to stop spending my money first - £40 is enough to live on for 4 people every week, you just have to shop more smartly"
"It's like sitting next to a man, I can't touch you or cuddle you when you have stubble on your legs go shave it off right NOW" (I had some slight stubble on my legs which I was going to go shave when I had my bath that evening)
"I can't go to the toilet when you are in the house, I need to do my number 2 in private"
"Go run me a bath"
"dont worry or feel the need to govern the relationship. "
"I'm not gay I'm just camp"
"I don't come downstairs to speak to your friends when they visit because I don't like them"
"when something is wrong with you or me, or your doing something bad or wrong, "
"Why do you get the child tax credit and I don't?" that's not fair I work & you don't (On explaining that the mother of the children or stay at home parent receives the Child Tax Credit and the Working parent gets the Working Tax Credit)
"I work all day, you just sit around doing nothing, looking after children isn't hard"
"I have to go on this holiday, my parents and sister will be devastated if I don't go, Ill try to make it back in time for the funeral but no promises" (A few weeks after our baby Hope died at 25 weeks - He went on holiday forcing me to put the funeral forward so he could make it)
"The personality you have is something that is nothing but an interpreter for YOU "
"You are always manipulating me into doing what I don't want to do" (On asking him to tidy up or help out with the kids)
"you cant make up your own words as I wont understand them, "
"Your'e going to have to help tidy up when you get back. Every room is dirty and crappy I can't do it all before you get back." When I was at college during the evenings he always had some excuse to pester me and interrupt my study - dog is sick - can't do all the housework by myself - my back hurts etc etc
"but now you've sorted it all out and can see your own beauty, the beauty I have always seen in you, that you may think you can do better than me, some hunkier, prettier, hairier bloke."
"That guy sounds like a complete dickwad "sequel injection"!
"Open it it should be my paragliding info pack Tell me how amazing it looks"
Don't feel to well either, so i'll have a bath when I get back if you want."
"If I live with you I won't be able to have a career, you will hold me back"
"Please tell me in your reply that you don't want someone else , just a little insecurity of mine, now your better you may set your standards a bit higher."
"At about 8pm last night I got that feeling either somethings wrong or you were thinking about me. It's frustrating that I cant contact you at those times but sitting here writing to you makes me feel a whole lot better."
"Well another days gone, all I think about all day is being with you, wanting you swimming with me and seeing all that I see."
"You are much more mature the past few months, I love it, makes you more dependable, sophisticated and trustworthy. For once I can go on holiday and not fret"
"You have a face like a pigeon"
"Pigeon eyes" (On seeing pigeons when we would go for walks, he would look at me and goad me"
"I worry that maybe you didn't think yourself to be an attractive person"
"Can you see through the back of my laptop? My mum said she could see what i was doing on there, take a look for me" (It was titanium and you couldn't see his screen through it - absurdity!)
"Have you got HIV or AIDS? cause I could catch that from you just by kissing you"
You are acting crazy! like a mad woman" - (When I would try to talk to him about serious issues and he gave me the silent treatment)
"Stop spending my money" (When I would go food shopping - yet it was ok for him to get a takeaway)
"I realize that I will never be able to have a savings account living with you" (Then spends £500 on paragliding lessons)
"If the kids need new shoes ask your mum to pay for it, I need to save some money"
" "I still have my fears and insecurities that you'll find someone else but there's always someone on my shoulder reminding me how different you are now."
"as for your worrying there really is no need I have sorted out in my mind what I want and so that is what I am going to have and that is a beautiful, loving, caring partner who understands my geekiness, loves me regardless of what I am or look like and a house in which I can spend all my time with her.. A lovely well furnished house I should add.."
"I feel so comforted when I see your pictures and read your email, knowing your there for me and will be there for me when I get back."
Knowing you love me and want me regardless.
You make me so happy, so warm, so comforted.
And holding you, loving you, kissing you, makes me feel content. Happy, 'finished'.
Finished as in.. I'm there I've found you, I want you and nothing more, complete finalized, happy.
"Do you love me? Are you sure?
Do you have any doubts? Promise?"
"Can you see us being as perfect as we were before?"
"If you choose to help me through it and I'm allowed to come see you, can we goto councelling together?"
"I love you insanely."
"Already you saying that has made me feel so much better, yes just that made me feel so much lighter and less stressed.
"I love you intensely!"
"I always sleep this way" (On asking him why he won't cuddle me in bed anymore - so he sleeps facing the wall away from me)
"You're Unfit, you should exercise more and stop eating"
"You will not be cast aside, I would never allow anyone to do that to you especially myself!"
"You are always picking on me"
"Don't give up on me because i'm not physically there for a short while - thats my biggest worry."
"I'm sitting on my balcony writing this looking at the ikkle birdies fly by while room service do there thing."
"Thankyou for the pictures you look very sexy! And thankyou for not buying silly low cut tops"
"Make sure this is what you want as there's no turning back."
"Intangible= Can be sensed but not physical - Im not saying your stupid XXXXXX"
On Our Breakup...
"Just so you know - i'm not going out all the time, or at all, i'm not meeting people and i'd rather regain the independence I have long lost. I hope your not going through what I am and that this is of some comfort to you"
I Can't Believe He Said That!! - Quotes From Other Survivors - Now These Will Shock You!
"Honey, I don't think you're going to like being married to me."
"I can only hurt you as much as you allow me to"
"I am what I am and not what you think I am."
"I'm right back at the centre of attention - where I belong!"
"I am beyond reproach".
"I would feel no different if I lost my mom or if I lost a pencil."
"I'll get rid of you like a piece on a chessboard when I decide you aren't valuable to me anymore."
"Greed is good."
"I'm a taker, not a giver."
"I'm hollow inside."
"I want you to put me on a pedestal and worship me no matter what I do."
"I want her in the gutter."
"N showing off 3 month-old twins: "I'd have brought the other one to show you, but he's just the same."
I remember the words of my ex about our son... "It's mine." when I went for custody.
"I'm going to fight for custody of the children until your father and you are broke, then I'll give them back 'cause I didn't want them anyways"
"I did it because I can."
"I'm getting good at firing people two weeks before Christmas"
"I keep her (crazy woman) around because no decent woman will stay with me."
"Quote from N while delivering the eulogy at his wife's funeral in a church packed with her many, many dear friends, all devastated by her tragic death: "Wow, I didn't know I had so many friends."
"It's all about me now. I don't care about you or what the kids want or what they need."
N father to his family: "I am the center of my universe and you are all satellites orbiting me. Remember your place and act accordingly!"
Click "Read More" Below For More Quotes
"I don't care if you have been sitting in traffic all this time because of a wreck on the interstate! I've been sitting here waiting for you for 2 hrs! You have no regard for me!"
"How many times do I have to tell you we don't have the money to buy the boys summer clothes and shoes that fit because I just spent $16,000 on my new Harley Davidson!"
"He told me after we broke up that if i ever told anyone what happened he would sue me for slander because, as his father taught him, his reputation is more important than the truth."
"If you are not on the train to reach MY goals then I want you off."
"it's ok to cheat as long as no one finds out."
"When you cheat on your spouse in your marriage which always happens since it is impossible to stay faithful to one person for life...if you get caught...remember....DENY DENY DENY!!"
"You'll never find anybody as good as me. You could never replace me. Men like me only come once in a lifetime."
"I tell you things on a need-to-know basis. If I think you need to know, I'll tell you."
"You've got ugly toes. Look how pretty mine are."
"Well, I may have created this mess, but I do not have to live in it."
"When people say I'm in love with myself I just shrug my shoulders and say "Who wouldn't be."
"I was born at the wrong time. I was supposed to be her in the day when men killed for honor-when you could have as many wives as you wanted and they all listened to you."
"I cannot even pass a mirror without wearing sunglasses otherwise I would get too dazzled by my own appearance."
"I dont like the idea of you divorcing me for adultery, can't you call it something else?"
"I think I've finally met someone almost as smart as I am." (N talking about his own son)
"If you ever cheated on me, you would cease to exist".
"If you divorce me, I'll burn the house down. That's fair."
"My work here is finished." It's time for me to move on and save another poor woman. And you're being selfish to try to keep me here"
"People only stay in my life temporarily. By the time they find out about me, I've already gotten what I want anyway."
"I am not special or entitled, I merely ask to be treated the same as any other great man."
"I am perfect."
"I am entitled to the best."
"I am never going to grow up."
"Your life is SO much better with ME in it."
"You aren't allowed to get mad."
We were riding for two hours in a car and I was crying for the entire drive because I was unhappy. Instead of stopping the car or just asking what was wrong with me (I almost drowned in my own tears) he waited to the point when we got home and then said: "So what are you so [censored] happy about? Not a [censored] word for two hours! Now that was a fun ride for ME!"
* * * * *
"How you feel doesn't matter."
"I tell you lies to make you happy."
"If it's free, it's for me!"
"Get them while they're sick."
"Well, what's in it for me."
"it's not fun anymore going out with other women now that you're gone."
* * * * *
"You care about me more than I care about you."
"She did not want to marry me because I told her I only wanted to live with her 2 days of the week."
"You have to anticipate what I want."
"A good wife would anticipate my needs - what I need in life and what I need from WalMart."
"Make a list of what you want back and I will decide what you can have."
"Your friends are all crazy, why don't they like me?"
"People are interchangeable."
On my wanting to continue the graduate program I was in when we met... "I don't know if you can, it hasn't been told to me yet".
"You are always supposed to be trying to get my mood up."
"I don't have orgasms with you because I don't want you to get the wrong idea about our relationship. I am still sexually attracted to you."
"I'm telling you I switch back to the personality you fell in love with."
"I cheated on you because I was depressed and I was punishing myself."
"After supporting my N ex for over 10 years while he went to undergraduate and medical school several years later he said. "I lied - I did not forget it was Valentines Day, I thought about it and decided you did not deserve anything". "What have you done for me lately?"
One night during another one of our arguments, I said to my N husband...."Do you stop to think or ever care about what I want in this marriage? He replied, "no and it doesn't even bother me that I don't."
"If people are stupid enough to let me run all over them I'm gonna take advantage."
N - to slow cars in front of him "Why don't they go faster? Don't they know who I AM?"
At Valentine's Day dinner he said "You know, I'm not obligated to do this for you."
When the marriage counselor shouted to my N husband "How could you DO this, THIS horrible thing to your wife?" he answered, "Um, well, um because she is DISPOSABLE to me and she pissed me off."
Immediately following our wedding ceremony he whispers in my ear, "Now I own you."
"He will go to the grocery store and come home with a pie and say, "Look what I bought for you!" He loves to eat."
After being intimate, my N would stay up with the night light on reading a magazine. As I was laying there, if I asked him a question, he would say with an abusive tone “Shut up and go to sleep”. It didn’t matter what the question was. It was his time now to read.
"He made me throw cold water on him when he was sleeping."
"While looking for a screw driver in my husband's toolbox, loe and behold, I open this one drawer and it is filled to the brim with condoms, all different colors. my Narcissistic Husband, (a prosecutor) said he found them at a defendent's house and said "I found them there and they looked so pretty and they looked just like candy and I couldn't resist grabbing a whole bunch."
"I love pulling one over on someone."
"I belong in a country where women kneel at your side on the floor, speak only when spoken to, AND will wash your feet."
On the other woman he was leaving me for: "For God's sake have some compassion-she works with retarded people".
"Paying child support is like buying oats for a dead horse."
"Why should I pay healthcare for my daughter, isn't that what welfare is for?"
"I don't get mad, I get even. I am the Master Manipulator."
"Could you call the font makers and ask them why they didn't make the hyphen longer in Helvetica?"
Left me a note, "going about 40 miles away to another homeless shelter close by a Benedictine Monestary because he wants to become a monk."
"Better to be a shitty neighbour than live next to one."
"I know I am a superior person."
"I'd go to counselling with her, but she won't listen to me."
"When he told me he wanted a divorce "I need to be with someone less powerful."
"I would really like to give you my phone number so you can call me whenever I want you to!"
"You can't have my cell phone number because it's private, but I'll need yours so I can check up where you are at any time."
"Well, that's enough talk about me. What do you think about me?"
"All I want is to be adored, is that so wrong?"
"You won the Lotto when you met me baby"
"I'm not like other normal people, I dont feel pain guilt or any other feelings. I'm dead inside so don't ask me for anything other than what you see."
"I have two faces, one I let others see, the other I dont."
"N said proudly "There should be a disease named after ME!"
"I won't pay child support this month because I just bought plane tickets for my vacation."
Frequently: "Its all about me." and "You misunderstood, that's not what I meant!
"I just need to get you here so you can be under my control again."
"I know I cheated on her with her best friend in the next bedroom while she was asleep in our bed, but I didn't love her as much as you."
When he was mad he says with an English accent- "You underestimate my powers. You don't understand who you're dealing with."
Infrequently, usually with a wink and sparkly eyes "Well, it's not all about me all the time."
"I know I said we wouldnt give gifts to each other this Christmas, but I meant I wouldnt be getting you one, not that you shouldnt get me one!!"
"I cant help lying, it just comes naturally!"
"You make me lie to you, you get upset if I tell the truth"
"I always tell the truth. The truth just constantly shifts..."
"Why did you believe me? You know I tell lies!"
"A lie is as good as the truth if you can get someone to believe it."
"I wasn't lying, I just wasn't telling the truth."
"The truth, you couldn't handle the truth!"
"I'm good at acting."
"I am the greatest undiscovered talent in america."
"Do whatever you want to do to whomever you want. Just don't leave any bruises."
"Would it be so bad for people to know we have a relationship? You should be happy you got to ride in a Cadillac."
"I mean, come on, do you honestly think I would do something that wasn't in my own best interest?"
"I love to mess with people's minds. I'm messing with you right now and you don't even know it"
"If you trust me, then I have to work really hard all the time at being honest. It's just too much work."
"If it weren't for you, we could get along"
"My N used to thoroughly enjoy describing his 'mantra' to his buddies when it came to his approach towards women: 1. If questioned: "Lie, Lie, Lie." 2. If caught: "Deny, Deny, Deny." 3. If punished: "Cry, Cry, Cry."
"Ill never forget what my Narcissist said to me one day. My mother was suffering from colon cancer, which later spread to her liver. The day we received that news, I shared this with my Narcissist thinking maybe I would get some sympathy that my mother was getting worse. His response was "Well, so, your mother dies, we break up, but you? Ill always have your girlfriends, but then if they dump you too, you'll at least always have your TV set."
"Those women's shoes in my closet are MINE". Then I ask if he's dressing in drag..."Oh I have NO idea where they came from".
Pefume by his bed where there was none before, and not mine: "I use it for aromatherapy". Well, I finally met her and we both ditched him."
"Upon Sharing Intimacies etc. he said: "Believe me Kim, with me, Less is More"
"I liked fun having sex with other women while I was with you...but now that you are gone it's not fun anymore."
"Just tell me if you going bankrupt, I will have to trade you in then."
Words they say to squirm out of answering...
"We'll see what happens."
"I'll see what I'm doing and if I can get free, I'll call you"
"Do you have to know right this minute?"
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there."
"I thought I was ready, but I guess I'm not as much as you would like me to be."
"When I've decided I"ll let you know."
"I can't make you promises because when I break them, you'll get hurt."
He said, verbatim: "It's really for the best (that he was leaving me) because I don't know how much longer I could've held out, and I probably would ended up raping your mother."
"He told me, "It is like when you put an animal in cage, I like to poke at you, because I like to watch you get mad".
While making love, my widowed husband said to me "Oh this is how my X liked it."
"That's what you do with hot girls, break 'em down until they don't think they're pretty anymore - just like I did with you."
"I'm an asshole, live with it!"
"When I was married to you I had 10 to 20 black skanks as lovers and another 100 skanks on top of them and I would have preferred any of them to you as the mother of my children.?
"She wouldn't stop crying, so I had to have sex with her."
On talking about buying a new German Magnum rifle: "I don't want to shoot with it, I just want it to bring attention to myself."
"DO I MEAN WHAT I SAY OR AM I JUST THE BEST BULLSHITTER OR WHAT?"
When his father died, " Hey if my mom dies, we will probably get the house."
"I expect to be THE beneficiary of your will, your kids can have something."
"I can have everything I want."
"How come when you write emails to your friends and family you never write to them anything about me and how good of a husband I am to you? You don't say anything worthwhile about ME". He emphasized ME. He sat me down and made me write especially my family, Mom and Dad about how great he was and how wonderful of a husband he was and how he was taking care of us."
He used to scream at me "Why do you have to have your own opinions?"
"I just got the news that my nephew had been badly burned in a car wreck and they did not know if he would live. I turned to my N and asked him to hold me. He said "No." My mom was standing there and said to him, "Why won't you hold her?" His response: "If I do, she'll probably want me to hold her all day long."
"I will continue to critisize you if you don't cook better meals, The only way to get you to listen to me is to yell and swear, so what else can I do?"
"It can't be my baby- I control my sperm, I know where they all are at all times, I keep them under perfect control, I am not like other men".
"Condoms expire? I have not heard this before- and I am very knowledgeable. You are wrong".
"I do not spill things. If I do, I immediately wipe it up. So you did not see any spill. I would be very very surprised if I left a hair on the sink. Everyday, however, all day, I find specks of dirt that I did not put on the ground - belonging to, someone, not me. I have to stop working and pick it up. It is very stressful"
"Get me off this planet!- humans, they're all the same. Emotions, feelings, their little eyes, little noses, little mouths. Hah! I am a machine - I've transcended all that. I can't wait to die and get away from people."
"Brad Pitt- Tom Cruise- Jude Law-I'm better looking than them. You can tell they all think that they're freaks! They're worthless! They shouldn't be actors! How can they look like that and think that they should be on screen? Society only rewards freaks of nature, with something drastically wrong with their faces! I mean, I'm not perfect, but I am a lot better than them"
"Childbirth without drugs, natural childbirth, yeah yeah, 11 hours - ok it may have been hard for you, but it was extremely hard for me too - to watch"
"I did not lie and say I was at bible study when I was sleeping with her- I did not lie at all. I slept with her AFTER the bible study - that wasn't a lie"
"What about women in third world countries- do their houses fall apart because their husband's don't help them? You bitch about me, but look at this woman (on TV) in Ethiopia- she has to do her laundry by hand and she has no food! You should be grateful" (swore it was a joke)
After making fun of me when I was pregnant- telling me that he could have a good-looking smart woman, so why settle for someone like me; "Look, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that you're pretty. You did runway modelling in Paris? Look, they'd let Aunt Jemima do runway! Guys who think girls like you are hot are the same kind of guys that like tacky leopard print furniture.They have low-class, undeducated taste.They're is a universal standard of beauty that is held by all people of higher intellect- that includes me".
And my all-time favorites:
"Look at that guy. He's a billionaire. I'm far better looking than him - why does he own (XXXX billion dollar corporation). He's even short! His hair is thinning on top! Who gave him money? Why am I not a billionaire? Society rewards ugly goofy people with billions. Get me off this planet."
"Angelina Jolie- she'd want me if she met me. She's been fooled - people have convinced her that Brad Pitt is sexy when he is not. I am her type."
"I said to my ex Narcissist "Isn't our little girl gorgeous, don't you just love her?" N replied "What's there to love, she just lies there doing nothing, boring""
"I was heavily pregnant with our son. I was in the shower and N came in and said "Just thought I would let you know that I am starting to look at other women. Just so you know where my mind is at. I find pregnant bodies a turn off".
"When our daughter was 5 months old he insisted that she learn to hold her bottle herself. I tried to give her her bottle but he would block me, grab my wrists and say "she is not getting it until she learns to hold it herself. She's not going to grow up stupid like you". When I repeated this to the Judge in a recent trial N stood up and said "Yes, and now she can hold a 1.25 litre bottle of coke all by herself. You have me to thank for that."
Upon hearing that our son had no heartbeat, a midwife was explaining to me that they would take photos and give me a memory box. N said "We are not seeing it, we want nothing to do with it, we won't be naming it".
"We were told by the social worker that we would have to give our son a name. I wanted Cooper, the name that we have chosen all along. N said "If we have to name it, then it will be called Chad, yeah, Chad, after my favourite motor bike rider, Chad Reed."
"When he was moving out he said "Where are the ashes?" I said "Why, you have never wanted anything to do with the ashes or the memory box" He said "I want shared custody of the ashes, week on week off".
. "I can do anything I want and if you don't like it you can kiss my Ass..."
His response to my question about going to couple's counseling..."Who will be responsible for setting all that up, besides, whatever happened to you going and getting help for what's wrong with you?"
"If caught red handed deny it it completely." (He claims to have learned this from his father)
After being intimate, with me on top the entire time, "You wore me out, get me some ice cream."
"I never said I would marry you, I don't know where you got that from, I would never say that to anyone, what makes you so special"
"I'll go out with you, but only if you pay"
"The more you do for me the less I appreciate it."
I said, "You are not perfect." He said, " No, but I'm pretty damn close."
"You are a rip roaring T total white trash b....Come down to my house so we can ..."
"I want you to have relations with another woman, it will prove to me that you love me."
I said, "I have had people treat me bad before, but I have never had someone be as cruel and sadistic as you" He said, " I told you that I couldn't be compared to everyone else didn't I?"
When I asked him to pick me up at the subway at night because there were gang members at the exit: "You interrupted my movie downloading for this?"
"I'm going to build you up and build you up, just to knock you down." of course later, he adamantly denied saying it,
"During his parental visitation he said to my 10 year old daughter, "I hate being your mother's babysitter." "I do love you but I'm looking for a women who makes enough money to support my life style."
After returning from the funeral of his mother, who died a horribly painful premature death, he commented, "I was surprised more people didn't hug me and tell me how sorry they were. Only one cousin hugged me."
"You're like a tool in my tool belt, I take you out when I need you and leave you in the tool box when I don't."
And my all time favorite........"She's the best work I've done yet!"
"I asked why he was being so verbally abusive. His response was 'BECAUSE I CAN" Didnt that say it all?"
Member NH (Narcissistic Husband) wasn't seeing his child for child custody visitations. His explanation: "It's too painful for me to see him".....with a sob in his voice.
N: "One thing I'll never forgive you for, is you taking me away from that little boy of mine" Me: "Then why don't you see him more?" (He had cut his visits from every weekend, Friday and Saturday nights, to every other Saturday night.) N: (with a sob in his voice) "Because it hurts too much to see him."
Member 2: My stepson wasn't taking his kids either. His 'justification' - "I don't see the boys as often anymore because It hurts me too much when I have to drop them off." I guess that translates into if he loved them more he wouldn't see them at all.
"The BEST time to kick a man is WHEN he's down!"
"Keeping up appearance works for me."
"I'd like to find a rich old bag with a bad cough."
"I seek your approval of my actions and constantly fear your rejection."
"My relationship with you is over, I have moved on, got places to go, people to meet and victims to find."
* * * * *
"I made you everything your are today."
"I'd like to beat the shit out of you!"
N (looking into mirror) "Don't I look cute?
"I just have this sudden urge to punch you right in the face."
"I cant be with a smart woman anymore. I need to find a women who is stupid and easy going"
"You aren't allowed to get mad."
"I'm an addiction. You'll never get me out of your head. I'm here to stay, Baby."
"I want dinner NOW."
"You should worship me because I am a man."
"I am God"
"You don't need to go to the company picnic, it's just for people I know."
"Chicks dig me."
"I don't know what causes these sudden cataclysmic shifts in how I view a person. I can feel it coming over a few days like a cold. Being with that person starts to feel like...wearing a shirt that's too tight. Uncomfortable. Their efforts to be nice to me suddenly seem...weak and disgusting. Then, they are just too intolerable to be around. Getting away from them is a relief. For a while. Then you start to wonder if you can get back in their good graces. And it happens again, of course. And sometimes again. And again. And again."
"I can't help it if all women find me adorable."
"Any woman who goes bowling at night with the girls is out to get some."
"I don't lie; I just stretch the truth."
"I can't share my feelings with you, basically because I don't HAVE any."
"Get them while they're sick."
"It's your fault I yell at you."
"I have a hard time telling the truth."
"If you can't screw over your friends then who can you screw over?"
"If I can't be CEO, then I'm not interested in the job."
"My management style? Fear!"
"Well, what's in that for me?"
"I can smell fear at a hundred yards."
"People are interchangeable."
"When it's no more fun I just get rid of you."
Geez even on our first date he said: "I cleaned my car, you'd better be worth it."
"If people are stupid enough to let me ..I'm gonna take advantage??
"It's none of your business what I do."
"What's wrong with going to bars without you??
That's not what I meant! You misunderstood."
"You'll never find anyone better than me."
When asked for some money he owed me said "I thought my contributions were sufficient!!"
"Well, if I hadn't told her I'd pay her back, she wouldn't have given me the money, would she?"
At Valentine's dinner he says, "You know I'm not obligated to do this for you."
"Emotions are an evolutionary dead end. I believe I have transcended them. I never feel angry or anything - just pure intellect."
"I don't want to get married because they'll get your pension."
"I can't stay here 'cause you are not under control."
"I will kill you if it takes me 20 years. When you least expect it."
"She became pregnant with my child but I made her get an abortion. I didn't want a darkskinned child" in a monotoned, nonchalant voice as he took out the trash.
"I rent videos with animals and people having sex"
"I'll give you up when I'm ready, but first I want to play with you"
I asked the N I knew what he would do if he found himself in a bad situation. He told me he'd 'play crazy, play dumb, send out so much shit* on the river that he could walk across to the other side'. His very words.
My husband told me he would "destroy me" and said so on repeated occasions.
"Your grandmother will be fine." (she was 92 and in a coma with a 5% chance or less of living). "There's no reason to go see her. Anyway, she couldn't hear you, so what's the point?"
When I heard him say "Are you awake?", I said "Yes!" and he said "No you weren't", and he said "I did a test to see if you were asleep (and he started drawing on my chest) and said "I was saying, This is where I'm going to cut your heart out, this is where I'm going to cut your spleen out, and this is where I'm going to cut your kidney out." I jumped up and called him a f.....weirdo and he started laughing saying "I was only joking."
"Hooray for me! F? you!"
"That's the goal! - Keep you on your toes, or keep you on your back."
"You can't stop this from moving forward just because you don't want it to."
"A girl wearing a skirt on a date is clearly asking for it."
"What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine."
Mine told me he loved me, then the next week he told me that he was obsessed with someone else. When I reminded him that he'd told me he loved me, he remarked "that was different!"
We go to the grocery store. We buy something. We stand at the check out stand together, watching the lady bag the groceries. I pay, as always. We are only "dating", so I pay for everything, because he thinks it is wrong for women to expect him to "take them out". He eats for free, at my house, three days per week. We carry the food out to my car, together. We get home, ready for the Expert N Chef to prepare a meal, with me in the role of scullery maid. Something we bought is missing. "How could you forget that, it was so important?", he asks me impatiently, and goes on. "I don't forget things when I go to the store, I watch to see that they put everything in the bag!" "But you were there, too, and had equal responsibility," I protest. He says, "How can you say that, when you were the one paying for them?"
"He tells me long stories about his life, on a regular basis. Sometimes they are half hour monologues or more. One time I listen to one of his stories and it reminds me of something that happened to me that I decide to tell him about. I say less than one sentence before he says, "Did you feed the dogs?" "Yes," I say, and remain silent. "Go on, go on," he says impatiently, without looking at me, rotating his hand in the air. I say another sentence, and he interrupts, "Will you hand me that newspaper?" I hand it to him. He begins to read it. "Did you not have the slightest interest in what I was saying?" I ask him, after a while. "I might," he says, "if you didn't go on and on, endlessly. Conversation should be a dialogue."
"I buy everything we eat when he is at my house, three days a week. We need some milk, which we both take in our coffee, and he says, "I want a walk, I'll go out for it." "Do you want some money," I say, heading for my purse. He laughs derisively, looking right at me, hands in his pockets as I try to hand him some money. "Why are you laughing," I ask. "It is so ridiculous," he says. "Here I am going out to buy you some milk, and you ask me if I want money. 'Would I like some money?' What do you think I want, to pay for your milk as well as going to get it?"
When youngest child was 15, he and Dad had a falling out. Youngest child told him how angry he was at him for things he had done. Dad's response? "If you aren?t going to agree with me and tell me I am right, then I don?t want you to come to see me any more!? Hasn't seen or spoken to youngest son for 3 years now.
"When I arrive home, you are supposed to be waiting at the door for me with something cold to drink and a cloth wipe my brow."
"He is restless. He takes a walk. He comes back still restless. "Take another walk with me," he says. "I still want to be outside." I dress for the winter weather and head out with him. I comment on a passing dog. He is silent. I say "hi" to a neighbor as we walk by. He is silent. There's a flag of a foreign country I don't recognize on the house of another neighbor, and I wonder aloud what country it represents. He is silent, and walks rapidly ahead of me so that I am following six feet behind. We pass by my house again, and I turn in the walkway. "Why are you going in?" he turns around and asks. "Because it is clear you don't want to walk with me." "I would," he says, "if only you would just be quiet."
"We met on the internet. When I read his profile I remember thinking "boy is this guy a cocky bastard". He was saying how handsome he was and that he would be a good catch basically. Well, he contacted me first - I almost didn't respond after reading his profile but I did. We talked for about a week on the phone and then met. One of his first comments to me when he met me was "you've got potential". should have gotten up then and ran."
"You are of no value to me anymore. I could hire a $4 an hour Spanish Maid cheaper than you." (I was full time homemaker)
"Why do I need to get Life Insurance for you? I'm the one that needs it, not you."
I had asked for my own cell phone, as ex bought one for daughter and not me.... "What do you need a cell phone for?" I said "What if I break down in the car?" He said "So pull over and flag someone down."
"You're so stupid, I wish I married a career woman so I could have more money
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin , hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip"
Gareth Edward(s) Rodger
Masks Of Sanity is an online blog offering advice, support and education for those who have fallen victim to the Psychopath/Narcissist. (NPD)
We explain why Narcissists behave the way they do, how they operate and how you can protect yourself from the Narcissist in society, in the home and online!
You can find my own personal experience with a psychopath in the links on the right. I have a very personal understanding of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I am proof that there is hope after abuse!