I am often amazed at the cavalier attitude of some clinicians and bystanders toward malignant narcissism. They seem so concerned about how they SOUND that they have no concern left for what they're saying. Indeed, one wonders if these people ever hear themselves.
They are so busy trying to sound like nice people that they utter utter nonsense. The cruelty of narcissistic abuse is lost on them. It strikes no chord of empathy in them. They hear about it and just mouth-breathe as if to say, "What's so bad about that?"
Obtuseness is invincible. They talk like it's a mere irritation or aggravation. They say we should make nothing of it and not be angry over it. For, the simpletons cannot think morally and therefore must have a list of dos and don'ts as a cheat sheet to distinguish right from wrong.
Fortunately, good therapists would never tell you to repress your feelings. They would tell you that there are times when you have an obligation to get angry, and that failing to is sometimes the morally reprehensible thing to do. Just as failing to fight is sometimes the morally reprehensible thing to do.
But they aren't saying that to SOUND good, so they aren't as loud as the phonies are.
You can read what you need to know about malignant narcissism in the comments here. Those by the children of narcissists.
They are anonymous, so they have no motive to lie, and the stuff they tell that their abusive parent did to them is too bizarre to be made up. It isn't the kind of thing anyone would make up. In fact, it's antithetical to the kind of thing a person would make up. You can see that. It rings true louder than the Liberty Bell.
Read these accounts of narcissistic abuse and weep. Read back through.
I really want people who think that narcissistic abuse is no big deal to do that. And those who think that narcissists are not bad people and will be fine if you just give them a hug, a musical instrument, and a puppy.
These narcissist sympathizers who say that their victims shouldn't abandon the poor narcissist, because that will make poor little him or her so saaaaaaad (to be without a host to parasitize) - people who say that need a lesson that will teach them where to place their misplaced sympathy. Let them be told they are dirt every day in every way by someone close to them for 20 or 30 years. Let them have their reputation, career, and marriage utterly brought to ruin by character assassination. THEN let's see if they still think it's nothing.
Then let's see how well THEY are handling the life they've been dealt.
Thinking it's funny to force your child to do something you warn him in advance you will beat him for? Have you ever heard of anything more perverted and sadistic than that?
I have it from a narcissist herself that mental cruelty is her game.
Rushing your husband's funeral so that one of his children misses it? After you DROVE him to suicide? People who hear that without it twisting their guts have an empathy problem themselves.
Which must be why they are so callous that they just don't see what's so bad about narcissists.
And then the narcissist immediately shacks up with somebody else to give the knife in his or her kids a twist. That one not only appears in the comments here, I know of that happening once myself. In fact every narcissist I have known who lost a mate immediately (as quickly as fleas abandon a dead rat in search of a new host) hopping into bed with somebody else.
That should be a clue about something to clueless narcissist sympathizers. A clue about what other people are to a narcissist.
Driving people to drink? Driving people to suicide? No big deal? I'll wager that many, if not most, people driven to suicide are driven by a malignant narcissist. That's absolute power over someone = the power to make them kill themselves. I know of three narcissists who did this and fortunately succeeded only in driving to drink, and a third who I think did it and did succeed in driving a teenager to suicide.
Not murder? Not WORSE than murder?
Narcissists do this as lightly as you step on a bug. That's what human beings are to them.
And in treating human beings as subhuman beings, they are treating them inhumanly and failing to recognize humanity. Which means they don't know humanity when they see it. If they were human themselves they would recognize and respect the image and likeness of humanity in human beings.
That's what becoming God has done to them. It was a big fall.
If the abundant evidence about psychopaths is any indication, some narcissists come from happy homes. As for those who don't, hey, if they got even with the parent who abused them, that would be natural. But they deify the abusive parent (as soon as they out of his or her clutches) and take it out on the nicest, lovingest, most vulnerable and defenseless prey they can find.
Come on, everybody knows what that means. They are BAD people. I don't care if it's against your political religion's doctrine to admit that. It's true.
Narcissists are known for making the most mild mannered, gentle, patient, kind, and unassuming people livid with anger. They are known for making people who never hate hate them with a passion.
Jeez, do you suppose there could be a reason for this?
This is just common sense. Let the phonies (on the Web and in the clinics) find some new issue to sound holy on and quit making a farce out of this one. Let them find fault to condemn where it is, instead of where it ain't.
Disabled Women & Abuse
11 months ago
1 comments:
You're putting my thoughts into type - wow. Now I know this has a name. Thank you. Here's what a "family" can do to someone - I'm male, 39, as good as a virgin, and live on disability because I'm mentally ill (depression, OCD, ad infinitum). The layers of control, destruction, theft, and blame that these people used were art, they were Michaelangelo, Da Vinci, magnifico! So subtle, so insidious, I was probably in my late 20s before I began to ponder, "How can I ALWAYS be wrong?" No physical abuse, no sexual abuse - so who believes you? Everything looks fine, nothing to point at. It takes kindness to believe someone, REAL kindness. I lived in a suicidal state for many years, got very close, but I was afraid of only getting it half done and ending up locked up amongst the psychological community because they're just professional blamers. You can crave death like sex, and that's for real. Is this what humans have chosen to become?I'm picking up the pieces, as I try to begin my life at almost 40 years of age. I'm passively disconnecting from my "family" (you better believe it, ALWAYS in quotes), and that'll be less passive when body and soul are more able. And I'll never speak to them again, they do not deserve to know my future wife (I desperately need her to exist..), my children, or me anymore. After stealing all this time from me, they're not getting any more. It's not okay, and it'll never be okay. I could just write forever on this, so I'd better stop. Thank you again for writing this truth.
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