Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Cyberpath, Predator: Narcissist, Psychopath

So, at bottom, the nature of the narcissist is the nature of a predator who preys on his own kind. The importance of that fact cannot be overstated. The brain of a predator just does not relate to the living soul of its prey. If you don't believe this, just watch PBS. Watch the behavior, and look into the eyes, of predatory animals while they're making a kill. There's nothing there. They are like machines at that moment. They must be, or they couldn't do it.

In other words, Nature has equipped them with hard-wired circuitry in the brain that takes over the moment prey is sighted when they are hungry. It suppresses what we could observe in that animal only a minute earlier while it was playing with its siblings or a waving leaf on a twig, tenderly nuzzling its offspring or mate. Perhaps it was even grieving over the death of a member of the pack. But that's all gone the moment it sights prey while hungry. Then suddenly it's a killing machine. It likes killing. Nature has endowed it with a taste for killing as necessary equipment for its survival. It even considers killing fun. Which is why we sometimes see in nature killing made sport: Chimpanzees (who don't eat meat) will gang-up on and attack a monkey, cruelly tearing it to pieces and having a blast over its heart-rending cries. Killer whales sometimes play with baby seals like a cat plays with a mouse. Wolves sometimes bring down and eviscerate prey they feed on the guts of till it dies and then walk away. Sorry, that's just the truth.

Humans are animals too and have that same predatory mode. Nature endowed us with it as hunters. It's in everyone. But in narcissists and sociopaths something has gone haywire. They go into this mode against their own kind. And they are permanently in this mode against all their own kind. Why? Because they don't view themselves as of our kind. They are of a superior kind. They think we are here to feed them, just as we think cattle are here to feed us. Correction: we do (or should) treat cattle humanely. We don't relate to them as objects like narcissists relate to us = like we relate to bugs or plants.

Compared to us, narcissists are gods. Alien beings. They can't help it. They are not to blame for feeling this way. Today the prognosis is poor. There is little sign of any real success in treating these people. Those who commit prosecutable offenses are repeat offenders — such as pedophile priests, sexual predators, and serial killers. They get this way as children and demonstrate it by torturing animals or murdering other children on a whim. Though they can't control their temptations, they CAN control their conduct. And this is what competent psychiatric care can really help them with. It can show them better ways to deal with their problems, making them resistant to temptation. In fact, I think it could build in some TRUE self-esteem to counterbalance their self hatred. (Lifelong treatment would be necessary to maintain it though.) And a lion tamer can walk into the lions' den. But they are still wild animals, so he can never be sure they won't give in to the temptation to attack the prey tantalizing them beyond their power to resist. We don't morally condemn those lions for being lions.

And the only thing more stupid and useless than morally condemning narcissists for being narcissists is trusting them. Don't tempt them. Just because a pedophile priest has behaved for the last five years doesn't mean he won't finally lose it and eat another altar boy. Indeed, it's cruel to tempt him daily thus! You wouldn't wave a bottle of whiskey in front of an alcoholic, would you? I don't see what's so difficult to understand about this. Talk therapy and/or punishment isn't the answer with PREDATORS.

We must do whatever it takes to minimize or eliminate their access to vulnerable prey as targets of opportunity. Period. For ever. Indeed, these people will thank us for it. Consider how many of them deliberately get themselves caught just to stop themselves.

Let's get a clue already and stop dangling bait before their eyes. There are many ways to do this: prison isn't the only one. For example, don't let him teach school or be a police officer. Don't give him power over his fellow employees. Don't elect him to be President for Life. Don't let him live off his parents till they die. Don't follow him on a purge to cleanse himself in the Holy Land. And if he steps over the line whack him, so that he thinks twice before doing it again.

And, especially, let's stop passing this curse from generation to generation by subjecting children to narcissistic parents. It takes the consent of the non-narcissistic parent for that to happen. So, just because your mother or father put up with it doesn't mean you should. If we began protecting the next generation today, this accursed cause of a vast amount of both the told and untold human suffering in this world would be gone in 50 years.

by Kathy Krajco


Anonymous said...

Thanks for your post. I agree with everything you say. The problem, as I see it, is that these types are very cunning. And victims are not believed. This country needs to WAKE UP and become educated as to who these people are. They are everywhere, and that's the scary part. You and I know they are out there and so do many psychologist, but the average josephine is a sitting duck. I know, I've been a sitting duck more than once! My mother was the perfect malignant narcissist. She could speak the same sentence and it had two meanings; one for me and one for the "audience". She was so good at it that even my own father could not pick up on it. He severely punished me for trying to point out how mean and nasty she really was. She did create another narcissist in my younger brother. The outcome for me was to make me vulnerable to other narcissists-sociopaths. I dated a man for 6 months over a year ago and it took me another 8 months to realize he was a predator and narcissist. And I had already had a lot of therapy to uncover my mother's abuse! So if I could not see another one my "blindness" was still in operation but how in the world can others who have not even experienced a narcissist-sociopath be expected to know or believe these evil ones are amongst us? With my knowledge of these types I KNOW I am at risk. The rest of society doesn't even know how at risk they are and the devastating consequences awaiting them. It's frightening to say the least.

Anonymous said...

Wow, this sounds so much like my wife who I'm in the process of divorcing (and being taken to the cleaners for the cheek of not maintaining her pedestal). Of all the arts that these folks have, she had mastered the art of saying something that had one meaning to the audience and another, nasty meaning to me.

I will be avoiding dating for a long, long time after this divorce. I just wish the judges and family courts would wise up to these nasty people: as it is she will be getting the kids, the house and some 55% of my income. I will be getting a record for "domestic violence" for pushing her when I lost it after 18 years of being treated like crap. It seems the law is on the side of women like her.