Are you sick of seeing the same Psychopath posting all over the web when researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Did you get sucked into his boards, forums, books, speeches?
Or are you one of the victims who adore Sam Vaknin, Look up to him and hold him up on a pedestal as your life saver?
if so let's take a closer look at the supposed "Dr Sam Vaknin PhD"
In one of his repetitively & compulsively posted online articles, Vaknin reveals in his own words the reason he really runs the Narcissism 'Support' Groups all over the net and so on....
'There is nothing to be learned from the answers to these questions because each individual has her own threshold. No, I simply enjoy the momentary ability to inflict traumatic pain (emotional pain - I am not the physical type and will never harm a woman physically). It is as close as I can get to omnipotence. It is the perfect gender revenge.'...
'As a Jew I would have done the same to Nazis. As a victim of a woman, I celebrate with unrestrained glee my ability to degrade women, to humiliate them, to frustrate them, to make them beg for life itself, for they see their (often imagined) relationship with me as life itself. This is why I abstain from sex. This is why I dazzle them with my intellect and charm and wit and knowledge, with unprecedented intrusive interest in their petty, boring, housewivish lives - and then I let go abruptly. At this stage, they are so brittle, so vulnerable that they crash to a million shreds with the crystalline sound of agony.'
Is this really a man you want to give you advice and support on Narcissism, Psychopathy or on your relationships? . Imagine for a moment, you have left your Narcissistic partner/spouse/family and have finally seen the light. You stumble across Sam Vaknin and drink in everything he has written on the subject.
You have just walked out on one Narcissist into the world of another.
Imagine, as an abuse survivor of someone with malignant narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder, giving your life over to a psychopath, and doing it with trust and a firm belief in his authority. What if said psychopathic conman, was advising victims? It seems absurd, that an abuser would advise the abused. It seems even more absurd, that the abused would take the advice to heart.
Vaknin is now a DIAGNOSED PSYCHOPATH - not a Narcissist!
An example of how this "self-proclaimed" doctor (who got his degree from an internet diploma mill) - answers the victims who come to him for help & advice:
Every link he leaves somewhere like a bait leads eventually to him telling you to buy his misogynistic and pseudo-scientific book. However, if you want to know for yourself how sick this individual is, you might wish to read his own rubbish complete with word salad Here
On his book:
Question Posed To Vaknin You are a self-professed narcissist, and you warn your readers that narcissists are punishing, pathological, and not to be trusted. Yet hundreds of readers or customers seem to be looking to you for help and advice on how to cope with their own narcissism or their relationship with a narcissist. I'm struck by a kind of hall-of-mirrors effect here. How do you reconcile these seeming contradictions?
VAKNIN: Indeed, only seeming. I may have misphrased myself. By "helpful" I meant "intended to help." The book was never intended to help anyone. Above all, it was meant to attract attention and adulation (narcissistic supply) to its author, myself. Being in a guru-like status is the ultimate narcissistic experience. Had I not also been a misanthrope and a schizoid, I might have actually enjoyed it. The book is imbued with an acerbic and vitriolic self-hatred, replete with diatribes and jeremiads and glaring warnings regarding narcissists and their despicable behaviour. I refused to be "politically correct" and call the narcissist "other-challenged." Yet, I am a narcissist and the book is, therefore, a self-directed "J'accuse." This satisfies the enfant terrible in me, the part of me that seeks to be despised, abhorred, derided and, ultimately, punished by society at large. "
With those two statements alone, he discredits himself. I already knew it was best not to trust one, and he confirmed it.
If you want to purchase a worthwhile book from a real doctor, please see Dr Robert Hare the leading authority on Psychopathy.
What does Doctor Robert Hare think of the documentary featuring Sam Vaknin: "I Psychopath"?
July 24, 2009. Response from Dr Hare:
Just watched the CBC broadcast of I, Psychopath. You did a brilliant job, arguably the first documentary to capture the complex, fascinating, and destructive interplay between psychopath and victim.
Perhaps most remarkable was your insightful and amazing documentation of the manner in which you became an integral part of the action. You experienced first-hand what it is like to be caught in the psychopath’s web of deceit, manipulation, domination and control, and to be subjected to psychological and emotional abuse that can be every bit as debilitating and demeaning their physical counterparts.
Fortunately your exposure was time-limited, and you were able to extricate yourself from the situation. The other victim in the documentary clearly is not so fortunate. (Sam Vaknin's Wife) Like many victims she is trapped in a macabre dance with an unfeeling, controlling partner.
Awards for this documentary should follow if there is any justice in the media world.
Suffering tremendously from the mental rape of an Internet psychopath, knowing that most therapists would not understand (and I could not afford one) I joined Sam Vaknin's board with a psyche like hamburger. At the time, it was the only board around. Over time the games began, and the capricious deletions and many people got hurt.
Instead of being in a place of healing, I was in a war zone. I was also, it turns out, deceived and misled, not realising that there was a cultish following.
When you're hamburger, you don't think as clearly,you just want to know you're not alone. I am a mental health professional and you'd think that we would know better, but let me tell you, when you are wounded beyond belief, all your training means nothing. Some people were wonderful on that site, but they left. That's why I started my own site, but didn't include a board. Just some fair and objective information, partly to counteract the dreck. I never imagined that unmasking a fraud would be part of my healing journey. Sometimes, Providence has a strange sense of humour.
I also felt very humbled. For I was dealing with a sadistic psychopath/sociopath and Sam Vaknin's views fed right into that; to realise that helps you grasp how out of control your life really is. He wasn't talking about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Mr Vaknin is trying to reform "Narcissism" into an all-encompassing explanation for all bad behaviour, blurs distinctions between the Personality Disorders, and collapses the uniqueness and severity of the disorder for each person into a single [malevolent] entity.
In effect, it seemed to me that Sam Vaknin was recreating "Narcissism" and NPD in his own image, according to his worldview. Which means it is not simply narcissism, nor is it NPD. According to the author, it is not anything remotely recognisable as Narcissistic Personality Disorder as he knows it.
My feeling is that, in effect, Sam Vaknin was drawing in vulnerable victims, desperately looking for answers, sometimes easy answers, and recreating them in his own image, inoculating them with his hatred and alienation, and creating a world view where things are worse than imagined, instead of better; it is a world of paranoia, where, in effect, there are monstrous "Ns" under every bush.
I speak as one who, at first, believed a lot of this stuff. He has pathologised almost everyone in every manner. So how can any true healing take place for any of us if we are misled and misinformed- imo, his version of healing, if he had one, is that everyone see it his way. Just like a cult leader wannabe.
Sam Vaknin has recently moved on to become editor of emotional/verbal abuse topics on Suite 101. I find this to be the ultimate irony. That the abuser gets to tell us, the survivors of abuse what we are about. And what we go through. The man is self-described disordered.
Can anyone doubt his lack of empathy and inability to understand the point of view of the victim? And he is writing about the trauma that we suffer from narcissistic abuse? He is now writing a book using posts by abuse survivors on the Internet, that is, from anecdotal evidence, where anyone can make up anything, and without prior consent.
The most common report we get are from battle-scarred ex-members of one of Vaknin's "support groups" (usually they're banned by his high priestess - Femfree ) who try to engage in meaningful dialogue with Vaknin or Femfree.
They ask questions and Vaknin spews some rhetorical gobbletygoop at them and then references 10 or 12 of his articles.
Femfree (real name is Darla Boughton) has admitted to older members that she uses multiple names, sets up members she doesn't like and has a couple programs to mask her IP in order to post as someone else giving gratitude to Vaknin (or herself) and posing as a victim gushing about how wonderful femfree (herself) is. More on Femfree Here
He isn't explaining NPD out of the kindness of his heart. He's doing it to get ATTENTION, the narcissist's pain-killing drug. I mean, just Google “narcissism” and see all the attention he’s seeking and getting!
Somehow, he has made himself the foremost authority on NPD. He is even treated as a legitimate authority on the subject by psychiatrists. He admits that he thus achieves "guru status," which is nirvana to a narcissist. In fact, he has a cult following.
If what he said about NPD didn't square with what top psychiatrists know and with the experience of people like me, what he says would be attacked. And he knows it. So, to achieve and maintain his status and following, he must tell the truth about NPD, and I think that's why he does -- or at least tries to as much as possible. BUT he is a narcissist. Duh! A Predator.
Look at what he’s getting from it. He is the star of the show! He has people crowded around, hanging on his every word. My, what an avalanche of ATTENTION he’s getting.
It’s all a matter of public record. First, see Vaknin’s curriculum vitae. Note that one doesn’t “graduate” from “a few semesters” in a school. He's often called "doctor" as though he's a medical doctor, but look again. The PhD he claims is in philosophy, with a major in “Philosophy of Physics,” a subject I never heard of, probably because physics is pure science, the antithesis of philosophy. People with doctoral degrees outside of medicine are called "doctor" only by their students and in other professional settings where they are practicing in that field as a profession.
What's more, you can see that Pacific Western University offers no such PhD program. You can see from this Wikipedia entry on PWU that it is an unaccredited diploma mill. As for being "Certified in Psychological Counseling Techniques by Brainbench," click the links on his Curriculum Vitae page and see that the transcript that appears has no name on it. As for Brainbench, just click the link and what it calls itself: an "employee/employment testing service" for "predicting employee success," not as an educational institution. Click through the myriad links to the Certification for Psychological Counseling Techniques, for this $49.95 product, you'll see the disclaimer:
"Our Health Sciences certifications provide you the opportunity to demonstrate your knowledge of both health science and the laboratory and laboratory and patient techniques used to practice it. These certifications verify your knowledge of the concepts and subjects tested. Brainbench certification does not imply that the individual has the skills necessary to perform a specific procedure or treatment, or is licensed or authorized to practice any health care profession under any applicable laws."
Click the Learning link to find that their "teaching" includes nothing but the test (which you can retake as often as you want and which is presumably open-book), additional "practice tests," and access to a "Learning Center with specific content to help you improve your skills" -- no instructors, no practice or internships, no coursework, just a bunch of links.
And then the Jerusalem Post details here (the June 14, 1996 edition in “Supreme Court Rejects Appeal of Three Stock Manipulators" by Evelyn Gordon) why Vaknin did time in prison.
Vaknin doesn’t hide any of this. People just don’t look at it. Do look, and judge for yourself what it means. As far as I know, he abuses no one. I mean, he wears a warning sign, so whose fault is it if people snuggle up to him? (I don't understand the attraction.) You can learn from his writing without becoming a fan who goes around the Web singing his praises like he's some sort of Messiah.
Seek real help.Don't feed the ego of some deranged individual!
"I have all the characteristics of a human being: flesh, blood, skin , hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip"
Gareth Edward(s) Rodger
Masks Of Sanity is an online blog offering advice, support and education for those who have fallen victim to the Psychopath/Narcissist. (NPD)
We explain why Narcissists behave the way they do, how they operate and how you can protect yourself from the Narcissist in society, in the home and online!
You can find my own personal experience with a psychopath in the links on the right. I have a very personal understanding of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I am proof that there is hope after abuse!