During my relationship with Gareth I noticed a lot of what I would come to know as "Red Flags" but at the time I didn't recognize them for what they were.
Pretty much all 99 Red Flags were evident in Gareth in one way shape or form, some he didn't qualify for, but I would steer clear of anyone who displays even a few of the below Red Flags
Trust your gut instincts!!!! and run like hell from any man or woman who displays these red flags in their behaviour.
1. Has an abnormal 'startle response' - doesn't jump or startle when we would. This is documented by professionals, but not well known among the public.
2. May show an odd fascination with fire/weapons/drugs/alcohol.
3. Unusual fascination with body function of bowel movements/products, flatulance./ Would not go to the toilet unless I was out of the house.
4. Homophobic (angry/protests about gays)
5. Staring / tuning you out / The Predatory Stare / Waking up during the night to see his face over mine staring.
6. Considers their own logic or intellect to be superior to all others.
7. Odd/irrational behaviour / (Placing my lighters in the freezer)
8. Is intolerant of children or animals.
9. Does not respect your privacy / Stalking
10. Lack of empathy / Inability to put themselves in another's shoes. - Unable to acknowledge or respond to pain in others that is not clearly visible. - Turns up TV when you have a headache etc
11. ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke
12. roll his or her eyes when you talk?
13."twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
14. Says he hasn't been with a woman in a long time and you are the first he has been interested in
15. Demands knowing where you are if you say no to a date
16. Tickles/wrestles when you keep telling him to stop
17. Doesn't talk much about his family or his past
18. Paranoid you're going out with someone else
19. Paranoid he is being watched
20. Has major Interests in NLP, Seduction Techniques, Psychology
21. Says he loves you on the first date, or online before you have even met
22. Damages the images of most others
23. Exhibits unnatural and perplexing behavior — backwards reactions to things
24. Is a control freak, trampling privacy/boundaries
25. Reacting with contempt to what should evoke sympathy
26. Reacting with anger to what should please (such as finding some mysterious offense in an attempt to suck up)
27. Reacting with aversion to what should attract
28. Getting angrier in reaction to what should appease (Narcissistic Rage)
29. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
30. Sees himself as “special” and should only have to affiliate with others of a similar stature
31. Takes advantage of others to achieve his needs
32. Demonstrates a constant need for admiration or approval
33. Exaggerates personal achievements while minimizing those of others
34. Feels entitled to special treatment and that rules frequently don’t apply to him
35. Very charismatic or charming at first, but can quickly switch from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde without apparent cause
36. May insist that he know your whereabouts at all times
37. Demands compliance with his expectations
38. Is unable to demonstrate or understand empathy or compassion
39. Does not seem to feel real happiness or positive emotions
40. Often criticizes and/or puts others down
41. Assumes himself to be more knowledgeable than those around him
42. May harass or stalk you if you do break up
43. Quick to anger or feel insulted or slighted
44. Rages with anger or inflicts the “silent treatment” when upset
45. Denies he has issues to work on – sees himself as nearly perfect
46. May often take unnecessary risks
47. Frequently humiliates or abuses others, although he doesn’t see it as abuse
48. Sulks when he doesn’t get his way
49. Nothing is ever his fault
50. Exaggerates the truth or blatantly lies
51. Rarely treats anyone with respect or kindness
52. His needs for attention, time, and space matter – yours do not
53. Uses sex as a weapon – through withholding, controlling, or being overly demanding
54. Rarely recognizes the accomplishments or abilities of others
55. Doesn’t appear to have a conscience
56. Does not take criticism well and becomes defensive easily
57. Rarely expresses appreciation of others
58. Is easily hurt and insulted
59. Considers most others in the world “idiots”
60. Shows no feelings of remorse or guilt for his mistakes or the hurts he dishes out
61. Wins most arguments through the use of rationalizing his behavior
62. Frequently complains that whatever you do, it isn’t “good enough”
63. Is often paranoid – thinks people are talking about him behind his back
64. May attempt to limit loved ones from spending time with others
65. May want to have complete control of the family money
66. Always has to win any argument
67.Is often envious of others, or thinks others envy him
68. May feel entitled to go through your purse, closet, or other personal belongings without your permission
69. His attitude is generally haughty or arrogant
70. Rarely can understand another’s point of view
71. Expects you to read his mind when he wants something
72. Hates to stand in line – he shouldn’t have to, as his time is more valuable than others
73. Frequently “forgets” to give birthday and holiday cards and gifts to loved ones
74. May ignore you or be indifferent to you for no reason
75. Leaves others feeling as though they need to “walk on eggshells” around him
76. Is desperate to have the biggest house, car, bank account, or title
77. Often leaves you feeling guilty, drained, fearful, exhausted, just plain stupid, and most of all, wondering how you got there
78. Rushes you into the relationship/ whirlwind romance / Pressuring you to marry him/her
79. Has absolutely NO sense of humor unless it is laughing at someone elses demise or misery
80. Doesn't seem to have any close, "real" relationships--with friends or family
81. Mimics your body language and speech - "Mirroring"
82. Wants to be intimate on the first meeting.
84. Is jealous when you praise friends, is jealous of your achievements, belittled or undermined them to make himself look better.
85. Authority issues - all doctors are quacks, all judges & police are corrupt. He knew better than any "expert". Looked down on anyone working class.
86. When pushed to explain cruel things he had said, denies he had said them.
87. Had two cell/mobile phones
88. Uses the Silent Treatment on you
89. Borrows money from you and then disappears or doesn't call.
90. Logs offline and you don't hear from him for days at a time.
91. Rarely, if ever, said "thank you" for anything or apologized for anything either
92. Doesn't seem to believe me when I tell him things then acts angry when facts are proven to him
93. Starts using words such as "soul mate" and "forever" very quickly after meeting online or in person for the first time.
94. Cuts you off several times without warning and for no good reason. When you started talking again it was always that he was confused or you were getting "crazy" or "suffocating" him.
95. No conversation, avoiding people in normal conversation.
96. Refuses to be left alone with the children
97. Constantly complains of mystery ailments, back ache, head ache, hypochondriac
98. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes
99. A grandiose sense of self-importance
Loved? No: Dishonored and Abused
1 week ago