Showing posts with label Trauma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trauma. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Seventeen Masks/Faces of the Psychopath

Described below are 16 different expressions of psychopathy, each focusing largely on the psychopath's lifestyle and habitual ways of interacting with other people. Behind each of these descriptions it is assumed that a universal psychopathic structure (characterized by narcissism, primitive impulsivity, along with deficits in emotion, empathy, guilt, and morality) belongs to each type. These type descriptions have been gathered from a variety of sources and amalgamated to form the collection. Most psychopaths are combinations or overlaps of these types:

1. THE LIAR/CONTRACT BREAKER

This Psychopath is a pathological liar who will often lie for no reason at all. He/she is usually skilful at this, but sometimes fails to remember. This P will agree to anything then turn around and do just the opposite. Legal/custody agreements and normal social protocol mean nothing to him/her. Technically, these psychopaths never lie because lying is not a relevant issue for them. The idea or image of truth doesn't exist with the psychopath, so he cannot lie…. there is for him no difference. He says what's convenient, what comes to his mind, but never figures out 'Is that now really true, or not'? There is something in normal people which wants to see the truth and wants to be truthful, but if that internal sense is missing then the word 'lie' is senseless.

A psychopath, for instance, may have gone to the bank and 'conned' the bank manager in order to get money, and what he or she said to the banker in regard to that is not necessarily concealment or lying, it's just 'part of the story' that goes with getting the money, and he does that very well and that's the adapted or successful psychopath. He says what the banker wants to hear and for the psychopath who says it, that's it -there is no truth or lying. The psychopath sometimes has an understanding that other people distingish between lies and truth and will often adjust himself and behave in accordance with these facts. But the 'liar/contract breaker' psychopath completely refuses to recognise the social sense of lies/truth, and lives only by saying and believing "what is convenient" in any given moment.



2. THE SOCIO-ECONOMIC "CLIMBER"

Frequently occupationally-successful, this P will rise to the top in work and social circles. No one knows the hell that his/her family lives through. They are often gifted and intelligent in their chosen field, but must be in absolute control. They will manipulate others to further their ideas. They can be a vindictive bullies in the office. They have no genuine social conscience. Can be suspicious and paranoid. This disingenuous psychopath's behaviour is typified by a veneer of friendliness and sociability. Although making a superficially good impression upon aquaintances, this P frequently shows a more characteristic unreliability, impulsive tendencies, and deep resentments and moodiness among family members and other close associates They are often extremely verbally gifted and charismatic, and everyone may love him/her -- except those who truly know the demon he/she is. This wheeler-dealer will leave others holding the bag.

3. THE SEXUAL PSYCHOPATH

This P will display an impulsive hypersexuality (male or female), and frequently expresses a polymorphic sexual range - eg., pornography and masturbation, promiscuity, homosexuality, and various paraphilias - including possible incestual tendencies and perversions.

The sexual psychopath takes a predatory approach towards his targets, including stalking behaviors. This type may derive his sexual pleasure from a single theme such as serial rape or pedophilia, in which his primary sexual aim will be to dominate, to use, to control, and to subjugate another person (often someone weaker and less able to manage the situation) in the service of a gradiose self. According to researcher Darwin Dorr, "the majority of pedophiles are psychopathic, or manifest a significant degree of psychological characteristics of psychopathy." Of the psychopathic pedophile, Robert Hare writes, 'The number of children who are sexually abosed by parents, other relatives, child-care workers, clergymen, and teachers is truly staggering. Unlike other abusers, many of whom were themselves abused as children, are psychologically disturbed, and often experience anguish about what they are doing, psychopathic abusers are unmoved - "I just take what's available," said one of our subjects, convicted of sexually assaulting his girlfreind's eight-year-old daughter.' For the sexual psychopath, then, all people may be targets, including both the very young and the very elderly, and both genders, who are often targeted for sex without consent.

4. THE EXPLOSIVE PSYCHOPATH

The explosive psychopath is differentiated from other psychopathic variants by the unpredictable and sudden emergence of hostility. These "adult tantrums," characterized by uncontrollable rage and fearsome attacks upon others, occur frequently against members of the psychopath's own family.

Such explosive behavior erupts precipitously, before its intensive nature can be identified and constrained. Feeling thwarted and threatened, these psychopaths respond in a volatile and hurtful way, bewildering others by the abrupt change that has overtaken them, saying unforgivable things, striking unforgettable blows. As with children, tantrums are instantaneous reactions to cope with frustration or fear. Although the explosive behavior is often effective in intimidating others into silence or passivity, it is not primarily an instrumental act, but rather an outburst that serves to discharge pent-up feelings of humiliation and degredation.

5. THE VIOLENT PSYCHOPATH

Especially distinctive is this type of psychopath's tyrannical desires is their willingness to go out of the way to be unmerciful and inhumane. Often calculating and cool, these psychopaths are selective in their choice of victims, identifying individuals who are likely to submit rather than to react with counterviolence. Quite frequently, they display a disproportionate level of abusiveness and intimidation, in order to impress not only their victims but those who observe the psychopaths' unconstrained power. More than any other type, these individuals derive deep satisfaction in creating suffering and in seeing its effect on others. In contrast to the explosive psychopaths, for whom hostility serves primarily as a discharge of pent-up feelings, the tyrannical psychopaths employ violence instrumentally as a means to inspire terror and intimidation. These experiences then become the object of self-conscious reflection, providing the psychopaths with a sense of deep satisfaction. This P has often turns into a demon. Their objective is often watching us dangle while they inflicts emotional, verbal and occasionally physical cruelty. Their enjoyment is all too obvious. He/she may be a sexual sado-maso. Women, children, men, the elderly, (and even animals) - anyone with any vulnerabiliies are his target

6. THE CHARMER, OR "SOUL MATE"

This Psychopath will come on strong, sweep us off our feet, says he/she has the same interests, wants to marry us quickly. This P may appear helpful, comforting by their feigned 'idealization' of us phase, but it never lasts. Jekyll always turns into Hyde eventually. This P is aware that you will be drawn closer by his/her relaxing aura and lack of inhibitions. This kind of P is aware that non-psychopaths are tortured by their usual neurotic compulsions, and doubt's, and guilts, and inhibitions, and that he/she can us offer an atmosphere where we are temporarily free of such tiring emotions (free like the P). When you have this kind of psychopath in front of you it's lovely, it's great, it's relaxing. Nothing feels quite as relaxing as having dinner with this psychopath because then you feel absolutely great and those darned horrible emotional states fall away, especially when having a few drinks with them, it's the greatest thing you can do, and they make you feel absolutely at peace. That's part of their charm, and it's almost as if they are graced with a kind of charisma, which is why so many women and men fall for psychopaths. The psychopath has no inhibitions, and this type can play up to achieve his sexual aims by ascertaining and telling you everything you want to hear. He will talk to a woman who is interested in poetry about poetry. He doesn't care about poetry but he will quote poets. The female psychopath will take a great interest in a man's work and talk to him for hours. She doesn't really care about his work, but will charm him with her interest. They will be romantic, invite you to candle-lit dinners, compliment you, and when they have you hooked they will drop the charm-game for the more selfish lifestyle for which they are well known.

7. THE THIEF OR "COVETOUS PSYCHOPATH"

In the covetous psychopath, we see a distilled form an essential feature of the DSM's antisocial personality disorder, and the ICD's syssocial personality disorder: aggrandizement. These individuals feel that life has not "given them their due"; that they have been deprived of their rightful level of love, support, or material rewards; that others have received more than their share; and that they personally were never given the bounties of the good life. Thus, they are driven by envy and a desire for retribution - a wish to take back what they have been deprived of by destiny. Through acts of theft or destruction, they compensate themselves for the emptiness of their own lives, dismissing with smug entitlement their violations of the social order. They act on the rationalization that they alone must restore the karmic imbalance with which life has burdened them.

For those who are merely somewhat resentful, and for whom some conscious controls remain intact, small transgressions and petty acquisitions often suffice to blunt the expression of more extreme characteristics. For the more severely disordered, however, the usurpation of others' earned achievements and possessions becomes the highest reward. Here, the pleasure lies in taking rather than in having. Like hungry animals pursuing prey, covetous psychopaths have an enormous drive, a rapaciousness. They manipulate others and treat them as pawns in their power games. Although they have little compassion for the effects of their behaviors, feeling little or no guilt for their actions, they remain at heart quite insecure about their power and their possessions; they never feel that enough has been aquired to make up for earlier deprivations. Regardless of their achievements, they remain ever jealous and envious, pushy and greedy, presenting ostentatious displays of materialism and conspicuous consumption. For the most pat, they are completely self-centered and self-indulgent, often profligate and wasteful, unwilling to share with others for fear that they will take again what was so desperately desired in early life. Hence, such psychopaths never achieve a deep sense of contentment. They feel unfulfilled, empty, and forlorn, regardless of their successes, and remain forever dissatisfied and insatiable. Believing they will continue to be deprived, these psychopaths show minimal empathy for those who are exploited and deceived. Some may become successful entrepreneurs, exploiters of others as objects to satisfy their desires.

Here an active exploitiveness, manifested through greed and the appropriation of others' possessions, becomes a central motivating force. The covetous psychopaths experience not only a deep and pervasive sense of emptiness - a powerful hunger for the love and recognition not received in early life - but also an insecurity that they perhaps really are intrinsically less than others, somehow deserving of life's marginal dispensations.

8. THE QUIET PSYCHOPATH

This Psychopath is socially withdrawn, often dirty, unkempt. Odd thinking is observed. This P is occasionally insecure and irresolute, perhaps even faint hearted and cowardly. Psychopathic aggression in this variant, when present, represents a paradoxical response to felt dangers and fears, intended to show persecutors that one is not anxious or weak, and will not succumb to external pressure or coercion. Such craven and cowardly individuals are spineless psychopaths. These personalities commit violent acts as a means of overcoming fearfulness and of securing refuge. For them, aggression is not instrinsically rewarding, but is instead essentially a counterphobic act. Anticipating real danger, projecting hostile fantasies, spineless types feel it is best to strike first, hoping thereby to forestall their antagonists.

9. THE BRAINWASHER

This Psychopath can charismatically charm and manipulate groups of people to achieve his goal. Often found in religion and politics. His goals: manipulation, control, compliance, money, position, attention. He masterfully targets the naive and vulnerable.

10. THE RISK TAKER/THRILLSEEKER

This Psychopath never learns from his past follies. He is doomed to forever repeat bad judgment after bad judgment. Poor impulse control is a hallmark. This type of psychopath often engages in risk taking for itself - for the excitement it provides, and for the sense of feeling alive and involved in life, rather than for such purposes as material gain or defense of reputation. Many of these individuals respond before thinking, act impulsively, and behave in an unreflective and uncontrolled manner. Beyond such simple impulsiveness, however, the risk-taking psychopaths are in addition substantially fearless, unblanched by events that most people experience as dangerous or frightening. In contrast to many psychopaths, whose basic motivations are largely aggrandizement and revenge, these individuals are driven by the need for excitement and stimulation, for adventures that are instrinsically treacherous. They are, in effect, thrill seekers, easily infatuated by opportunities to prove their mettle or open their possibilities, The factors that make them psychopathic are the undependability and irresponsibility of their actions, and their disdain for the effects of their behaviours on others as they pursue a restless chase to fulfill one capricious whim after another. The introverted variation of this type may turn more specifically towards substance abuse - alchohol, heroin, speed, or whater drug - as a way to get his thrills and excitement without the more overt behaviors of the former.

These daredevils are attracted to thrills like lemmings to cliffs. Look for: Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. They will draw you in with: Fun, excitement, and adorable adolescent rebelliousness. They will drain you dry by: Overdoing everything exciting, and underdoing everything else. Thrillseeker P's are the one's you see everyday: Cowboys, cowgirls, day traders, party animals, rebels without a cause, and that one lover you just can't seem to forget. DEFENSIVE STRATEGY: Keep your brain engaged even when theirs are turned off. Especially then.

11. THE PARANOID PSYCHOPATH

This Psychopath is suspicious of everything and everyone. Usually there's no reason. He is terrified of exposure and may be potential dangerous if threat of exposure is imminent. This P will often accuse others of wrong-doing, and will never accept responsibility. It doesn't matter whether he made the mess or not, someone else must take the blame. A master at projection. Their features frequently blend with those of the paranoid personality disorder. They are characterized best by their autocratic power orientation and by their mistrust, resentment, and envy of others. Underlying these features is a ruthless desire to vindicate themselves for past wrongs by cunning revenge or callous force, if necessary.

Left to their own ruminations, they begin to imagine a plot in which every facet of the environment plays a threatening and treacherous role. Moreover, through the intrapsychic mechanism of projection, they attribute their own venom to others, ascribing to them the malice and ill will they feel within themselves. As the line between objective antagonism and imagined hostility becomes thin, the belief takes hold that others are intentionally persecuting them. Not infrequently, persecutory delusions combine with delusions of grandeur; however, these later beliefs play a secondary role among these psychopaths, in contrast to their primacy among fanatic paranoid personalities.

Preeminent among malignant psychopaths is their need to retain their independence and cling tenaciously to the belief in their own self-worth. Their need to protect their autonomy and strength may be seen in the content of their persecutory delusions. Malevolence on the part of others is viewed as neither casual or random; rather, it is seen as designed to intimidate, offend, and undermine the individuals' self-esteem. "They" are seeking to weaken the psychopaths' "will," to destroy their power, to spread lies, to thwart their talents, to control their thoughts, and to immobilize and subjugate them. These psychopaths dread losing their self-determination; their persecutory fantasies are filled with fears of being forced to submit to authority, of being made soft and pliant, and of being tricked to surrender their self-determination

12. THE 'BAD BOY' OR 'BAD GIRL' ANTISOCIAL PSYCHOPATH

This type of Psychopath is considered the archetypical delinquent, openly pursuing a diverse range of antisocial behaviors and often in trouble with the law. The antisocial psychopath is the main type found in prisons, whose availability for psychological testing results in a disproportionate representation of this type in psychopathy descriptions. The American 'Diagnostic and Statistical Manual' (DSM) description of psychopathy is based on this group of offenders, to whom the manual gives the name 'antisocial personality disorder'. Descriptive criteria for this category are as follows:

1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

13. THE USED CAR SALESMAN (OR WOMAN)

The used-car salesman is a metaphor for the psychopath who can sell you anything, even themselves. Unlike the charmer above, this psychopath uses a quick talking 'sales-pitch' to catch people out. Their main techniques are: (a). Do it because you like me - It's easy to like these types. In the short period of time when there is some doubt as to whether you are going to give them what they want, these psychopaths can sprinkle with wit and glow and synthetic kindness. The display usually ends three seconds after you give in, but while it lasts it smells sweet as cherry blossoms on a warm spring day. The main reason that people like other people is that they perceive them to be similar to themselves. These P's usually begin their sales pitch by establishing a perception of similarity. They watch you closely. They ask questions about who you are, what you like, and what you think, and then profess to like and believe the same sorts of things. Unless you are paying attention, their probes and ploys can seem like innocent chit-chat. (b). Do it to reciprocate - These types would have you believe that because they gave you something, you owe them something back. In their view, compliments are like free samples those motherly types hand out in grocery stores. The purpose is not to nourish you, but to get you to buy. (c). Do it because everybody else is doing it - This person will try to convince you that you are 'part of the crowd' or 'are in the group' of whatever craven scheme they are enticing you to join. (d). This offer is good for a limited time only - These individuals know that anything sought after or scarce takes on a value far beyond its intrinsic worth, and will use this knowledge to push your buttons. (e). Do it to be consistent - Being consistent in our behaviors and choices helps provide the important feeling of selfhood. But foolish consistency is the psychological principle that makes manipulation possible. People also try to maintain an internal sense of consistency between their actions and beliefs. This is hard enough to do without careful thought. It's almost impossible with a psychopath trying to confuse your perceptions about who you are and what you believe by making you cross one little line after another. (f) You can believe me, I'm an authority - These psychopaths know that people are likely to do what authority figures tell them. (g). Do it or else - This P knows that one of the main reasons people listen to an authority figure is the fear that they will be punished if they don't. These are just some of the techniques the used-car salesman P will use, but use them he will in a great variety of situations - even with friends and family members, this psychopath will apply his hard sell to get what he wants.

14. THE MURDERER OR SERIAL KILLER

This malevolent subtype is one of the least attractive of the psychopathic variants. These individuals are particularly vindictive and hostile; their retributive impulses are discharged in a hateful and destructive defiance of conventional social life. Distrustful of others and anticipating betrayal and punishment, they have aquired a cold-blooded ruthlessness, an intense desire to gain revenge for the real or imagined mistreatment to which they were subjected in childhood. Here we see a sweeping rejection of tender emotions and a deep suspicion that others' efforts at goodwill are merely ploys to deceive and undo them. They may assume a chip-on-the-shoulder attitude, a readiness to lash out at those whom they wish to destroy or can use as scapegoats for their revengeful impulses. Many are fearless and guiltless, inclined to anticipate and search out betrayal and punitiveness on the part of others. The primary psychopathic characteristics of these individuals blend with those of the sadistic or paranoid personality (or both), reflecting not only a deep sense of deprivation and a desire for compensatory retribution, but also an intense suspiciousness and hostility. Many murderers and serial killers fit this psychopathic pattern. Such persons might be described as belligerent, mordant, rancorous, vicious, malignant, brutal, callous, truculent, and vengeful.

To "prove" their courage, malevolent psychopaths may even court punishment. Rather than serving as a deterrent, however, punishment often reinforces their desire for retribution. In positions of power, they often brutalize others to confirm their self-image of strength. If they are faced with consistent failure, beaten down in efforts to dominate and control others, or finding aspirations far outdistancing their luck, their feelings of frustration, resentment, and anger mount to a point where their controls give way to raw brutality or secretive acts of vengeful hostility. Spurred by repeated rejection and driven by an increasing need for retribution, aggressive impulses will surge into the open. At these times, the psychopaths' behaviors may become outrageously and flagrantly antisocial. Not only do they show minimal guilt or remorse for their violent acts, but they may instead display an arrogant contempt for the rights of others.

What distinguishes malevolent psychopaths is their capacity to understand guilt and remorse, if not necessarily to experience it. Although they are capable of giving a perfectly rational explanation of ethical concepts - that is, they know the difference between right and wrong - they seem nevertheless incapable of feeling it. These psychopaths often relish menacing others, making them cower and withdraw. They are combative and seek to bring more pressure upon their opponents than their opponents are willing to tolerate or to bring against them. Most make few concessions and are inclined to escalate as far as necessary, never letting go until others succumb. In contrast to other subtypes, however, malevolent psychopaths recognize the limits of what can be done in their own self-interest. They do not lose self-conscious awareness of their actions, and press forward only if their goals of retribution and destructiveness are likely to be achieved. Accordingly, their adversarial stance is somewhat contrived and works as a bluffing mechanism to ensure that others will back off. Infrequently, actions are taken that may lead to misjudgment and counterreaction in these matters.

15. THE MORALIST OR SAINT

This Psychopath proclaims his high moral standing, and other people are seen as immoral. He wants justice for society. "Hang 'em high" he says about the murderer on the 6:00 news. These P's may be found in the professions of school teacher, prison officer, religious leader (or devout attendant), manager of an orphanage or hospital for the mentally ill, or similar jobs which require an morally responsible presentation. They may be very quick to exploit corrupt political or social situations as an excuse for being brutal and cruel, political situations like those seen in Nazi Germany, or Apartheid South Africa, which supply a socially sanctioned way to enact their pathology. When this P is not being 'watched', he/she often lies, cheats, schemes, corrupts, abuses, deceives, controls, manipulates, and torments, while portraying himself to be the morally upstanding victim when questions are asked. This P is a consumate image maker and will flaunt all credentials and accomplishments, often bullying his/her family into perfect presentation for the public, in order to reinforce his/her position as a paragon of goodness. Gaining admiration, attention, even glances from others, and evoking envy are central ploys. These 'morally compensated' psychopaths cannot depend upon love because, like all psychopaths, they have a severe deficit in the area of emotion. Instead, their egos work out a moral system which is fool-proof in any and every situation. The result, as paradoxical as it may seem, is usually a well-developed outward morality but one woefully lacking in love. Such compensated psychopaths continually and at all costs uphold moral conventions, fanatically defending their moral systems. Were they to relax the hold on their moral code, the entire structure might well collapse like a house of cards, revealing their psychopathic nature. It is rather like cooking, a poor cook sticks assiduously to the recipe, while a gifted one can change this and that according to a momentary whim. This P's saintliness or rigid morality, then, is a cover for an underlying grandiosity, immorality, and sadistic drive to power typical of many psychopaths.

16. THE CREATIVE ARTIST

This psychopath will choose lifestyles or communities where his immorality is considered a gift. He/she blends in well with other artists, writers, countercultural-bohemians, and revolutionaries. In such circles the psychopath becomes almost indistinguishable from the non-psychopath, and can comfortably seek out victims who are willing to view his pathos as 'misunderstood genius', a person whose insights are wasted on the morally burdened masses.

This Psychopath will trick you into feeling that it is you who are psychologically crippled for following social conventions like decency, respect, restraint, fairness, or justice, and will introduce you to the "liberated" life of untrammeled selfishness, rudeness, impulsivity, and sexual perversity. This type will frequently display the pseudo-intellectual style of a Bohemian. This P:

1) Will spend hours absorbed in painting a single flower. He interrupts his work only to make dramatic sounds of exhaustion and angsty-artistic grunts, demands for water and other sustenance, and frequent sweeps of his furrowed, sweaty brow. When his day's work is done, he proudly displays a painting of his own penis in a lovely shade of lilac, and with petals attached. His painting is generous in its depiction of its subject.

2) Peppers conversations with cultural, literary, and historical allusions, whether relevant or not. Says "ahh" and "hmm" a lot when listening to someone more knowledgable than himself. His favorite partner in conversation is the pre-teen girl, because she cannot dispute his opinions on Nietzsche. Nietzsche does not hang out at the mall.

3) Your favorite subject is--suprise!!--his as well. And he knows much more about it than you. Take feminism, for example. If you consider yourself a feminist, he will let you in on the "real deal" with many artists, will tell you if they are, in fact, good for the image or self-esteem of woman. It goes like this: If he likes someone's work, then they are a feminist; if you like someone's work and he does not, it is only because they make women look bad. This is why "Penthouse" is perfectly harmless--good for women, in fact, because it empowers them sexually; Madonna is bad for women because she traded her feminine curves for muscle, and makes young ladies feel bad about their bodies the way they are meant to be. Which is without muscles.

4) Will invite the family to bond with him over a crossword puzzle, which means that the clues are read to him for him to solve. No help please, you are wrong and will just slow him down.

5) Also likes to bond over "Jeopardy!" which means that he shouts out the answers to all questions before they have been read completely, thus preventing anyone else from participating. If anyone else should get a question which he does not, he will get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom. You see, the reason he didn't get that question is that he was thinking about his snack. He will mutter the answer after Alex has said it, agreeing that the host was correct. The game may proceed. Has never tried out for "Jeopardy!"

6) Is the local King of Lawn Sculpture, which consists of concrete representations made from plaster casts of his body parts. His pride and joy is the forearm and hand with middle finger extended. The significance of this, which even he does not know, is that he is painfully aware of the fact that he is a blue-collar worker with no formal higher education, surrounded by over-educated, well-travelled hippies. And gosh darn they're nice. They can intelligently discuss any academic subject the psychopath raises, but alas, he cannot.

This Psychopath is the literal emodiment of the term con-'artist'.

17. THE ACADEMIC PSYCHOPATH

These psychopaths often work as doctors, lawyers, university lecturers, psychiatrists, specialists, scientists, preists, and in other intellectually oriented professions. Clientele, patients, and students of these P's are often taken advantage of in social, financial, or sexual ways. These types are sometimes schooled in their chosen topics, but a good number are known to fudge their qualifications. Robert Hare reports - "They have no hesitation in forging and brazenly using impressive credentials to adopt, chameleonlike, professional roles that give them prestige and power. When things fall apart, as they usually do, they simply pack up and move on. In most cases they select professions in which the requisite skills are easy to fake, the jargon easy to learn, and the credentials unlikely to be thoroughly checked. If the profession also places a high premium on the ability to persuade or manipulate others, or to "lay on the hands," so much the better. Thus, psychopaths find it easy to pose as ministers, counselors, and psychologists. But some of their other poses are much more difficult to pull off. There are psychopaths who sometimes pose as medical doctors, and they may diagnose, dispense drugs, and even perform surgery. That they frequently endanger the health or lives of their patients does not bother them in the least."

As mentioned above, these P's do not always forge their qualifications, and sometimes do complete their studies in a chosen academic field. But whether formally trained or not, the marking feature of the academic psychopath is the use of formal ideas as a vehicle for interpersonal communication, and a psychic style relying predominately on intellectual functioning. This type has the universal psychopathic-deficits in emotional functioning, but unlike other psychopaths may not cultivate phoney emotional skills to use on others. They may instead degrade emotion as something messy and unreliable, and will rely solely on the manipulative powers of intellectual-authority with the backing of their office.

Most unsettling are the coldly calculated violations of power and trust committed by these psychopathic professionals whose very job it is to help the vulnerable. It is very common amongst these individuals to callously use their positions to take sexual advantage of their charges, leaving them feeling bewildered and betrayed. And if victims complain, they may be traumatized further by a system primed to side with the perpetrating psychologist, doctor, or teacher.

Blog Owners Note: Most psychopaths are a combination of a number of these profiles & traits listed above.

For more on psychopaths go to LOVE FRAUD for eye-opening reading.

Read more!

Anatomy of the Abuser



AND A LOOK AT THE ABUSED MAN

While this paper cannot be a definitive guide to the nature of the abuser, the victims relationship with the abuser and societies part in encouraging gender bias, I hope it will add to the pool of knowledge. It is my hope that, at least a small way, this paper will be an aid towards helping us all understand the nature of domestic abuse and those who perpetrate or encourage it.
- George Rolph. London 2004.

The abusers - Actors in disguise.
First and foremost abusers are actors. It makes no difference what gender the abusive personality is, their primary skill is to emulate normal behaviour in order to disguise their own condition.

I have spoken to many victims of abuse who say that the person they met and fell in love with “gradually changed” into a monster. This is often one of the most confusing and distressing aspects of abuse from the victims point of view. It is also a situation that the abuser will exploit with varying degrees of vicious skill. While it is impossible to be specific on these subjects in every case -- as there are always exceptions to every rule -- careful observation and research have uncovered certain general consistencies I want to discuss here. The question is; what is going on in the abusers mind that causes them to suddenly, or gradually, become abusive to their new partner?



It appears that the abusive personality has learned, by observation and by mimicry of those around them, how to give every appearance of normality and stability for often quite extended periods of time. This means that they are able to convince new partners that they are really charming, wonderful people who should be trusted and are worthy of love and care. This act is easy to maintain in certain social situations and where the abuser has minimal contact with others in an average day. For example, in a work situation where he/she will be in contact with others for a maximum of eight hours per day. Another social situation may be one of casual friendships made in pubs and clubs. Under these conditions the actor (abuser) need only be convincing as a normal person for a minimum amount of time. This is why many friends of the abuser find it hard to believe that the person they think they know could be capable of such barbarity within a long term relationship. In the case of female abusers, this difficulty is compounded by social and political myths that see females only as victims and not as perpetrators.

For the abusive actor, maintaining the act of normality within a long term relationship is almost impossible. The intensity of the time spent in the company of the victim means the emotional strain placed on the pretender, by their need to hide their true selves, becomes too difficult to maintain. The act breaks down and the real personality disguised beneath it rushes to the surface. To the victim, the sudden outbursts of aggression from the previously “loving” and “charming” personality they fell in love with, is both mystifying and deeply confusing. The victim, often still in love with the abuser, begins to make excuses for the abusers behaviour. Mentally sweeping it under the carpet and falsely believing that things will get better in time. This is not difficult to understand. Anyone who has fallen in love knows the huge investment of trust, emotional/mental commitment and selflessness it takes make the relationship work. It is natural for the victim to assume that the other person has made the same efforts as they have and this primes them to accept the abusers excuses and rationalisations of their behaviour.

The abusers self-view.
An abusive personality is fundamentally one of self loathing and even self hate. However, this self disgust is too painful for them to accept. Desperate to “fit in” with everyone else they justify the abusive behaviour they cannot avoid and deny the rest. The denial can be very profound and will drive their negative feelings about themselves very deeply within their tortured psyche. Many abusers are deeply frightened and horrified by their violent outbursts but their denial prevents them from dealing with the feelings that cause them. Therefore, when they lose control and abuse another, there often follows what looks like deep and sincere repentance and begging for forgiveness, only to sink back into the same patterns again later on. Given enough time, even these feelings of regret and remorse will become buried and their emotional attitude to their abuse of others will harden into a cold uncaring outlook. For this reason, I believe it is vital that treatment be applied to the abuser while they still own feelings of remorse and regret. Treatment of the abuser will become progressively more difficult over time as the abuser will lack the necessary need and drive to want to reform.

In order to avoid owning up to what they feel the abuser will project their self hatred onto their victims. Where this occurs it sets up the classic abuser/victim relationship. I will expand upon this relationship later in this document, but for now I wish to return to the abusers view of themselves and its consequences in their lives.

We have seen how the abusive personality often feels about themselves but why does this self hatred come about? There may be myriad's of reasons but there are some common threads that I have noticed in my studies, my experiences of abuse and my observations of abusers. Many of those who become abusers report that they have grown up in abusive homes themselves or, have experienced abuse later on in their lives. When probed about how these experiences have affected them, almost all report feelings of anger and even intense rage that they themselves are frightened by.

To a child growing up in an abusive home, even though the behaviour they are witnessing and experiencing from others deeply disturbs them, they consider it to be “normal.” Its all they know, so for them, this is what normal family life is all about. However, the deep fears and anger raised in them by their abusers have little or no avenue of expression within the home. To become angry, or even show dissatisfaction with their treatment, may very well lead to an escalation of the abuse against them. This fear of retaliation drives the feelings they naturally have about their abusers deep within themselves. The only way to cope with the feelings of fear and anger is to deny and bury them or take them outside of the home in anti social behaviour. *

When the abused child becomes an adult, if they have not dealt with these feelings of rage buried deep within themselves, they are almost certain to resurface within their adult relationships.

Adults have a tendency to recreate what they considered normal in their early life at home, within their own adult relationships. If they grew up in a chaotic and fear filled environment it is natural for them to feel at home within that kind of family dynamic. Subconsciously they may well be building relationships they feel are well known to them and no matter how painful those relationships are, they feel “normal.”

Some abusers are simply psychopaths. They enjoy the feelings of power they have over the victim and may well go on to kill them if early intervention is not forthcoming.

Other abusers simply come to hate their partners over time and instead of leaving the relationship, set out to destroy the other person (and sometimes other people) within it.

All abusers enjoy the feelings of power they have over their victims at some level, but not all abusers are psychopaths. Abusers are often deeply selfish individuals who live in a “me me” world where only their own feelings, needs and desires are important. When the abuser expresses love for the victim it is often not because they feel that love, it is often because they want something from the victim that threats will not get them. My own abuser, for example, would become tender, gentle and kind whenever she wanted me to help her with something she could not manage alone. Afterwards, my efforts to help her would be ridiculed as inadequate.

Some abusers will abuse others by proxy and this seems to be a predominantly female trait. I have received calls to my help line from men who have been beaten up by other men when their abusive female partner has told another man that her victim had expressed a desire to sleep with the attackers infant child, for example. Other forms of this abuse include making false allegations to family members or the state authorities in order to have someone else attack or arrest the victim.

Another form of abuse by proxy is to withhold contact unreasonably from a parent with his/her child. In such a case, the abuser is using the state apparatus to continue abuse after the relationship has ended. This constitutes abuse of the child concerned and the adult denied contact. I also consider false rape allegations that can utterly destroy a persons life to be abusive behaviour that is all too often unpunished by the state.

For those who have experienced abuse in later life but who had relatively happy childhood's there may well be a subconscious element of revenge in their subsequent abusive behaviour. In the case of the female abuser this may be hugely reinforced by articles in women's magazines that portray men as nothing but bad, soap opera stories, dramas, movies, press stories about female abuse victims, and the constant and relentless pressures on women by radical feminist groups to see all men as dangerous and who paint men as predatory violent animals and women as poor victims being preyed upon. Even advertising on the television that portrays men as useless and stupid may reinforce her hatred of males and feed her feelings of the need to take revenge against all men for what one man has done to her.

Such thoughts and feelings are covered by the umbrella term, Misandry. A misandrist is a hater of men. There are many more of these people around than is popularly believed. Many of them are writing the things referred to above or are part of the organisations promoting hatred of men in our society.

Such a scenario is also possible in the case of a male abuser who resents being typecast in these ways by “evil women” and sets out to justify his violent behaviour by seeing himself as some kind of avenging angel. His thoughts and feelings of hatred and resentment towards women are embraced by the term, Misogynist. It is well known there are many of these men around, however, criticising female behaviour is not the same as hating females. An important distinction needs to be made between the two for any rational debate on these issues to succeed. **

* It is interesting to note that over 90% of males in prison come from broken homes, yet societies in the western world actively promote single motherhood as a virtue while discouraging marriage. That this is creating a huge problem for the future and singularly lacking any kind of wisdom should be obvious to all.

** A common defensive ploy of radical feminists is to paint any and all criticism of females as hatred of them and, by so doing, pressure people (chiefly men) into regarding a counter argument as misogynistic in origin and therefore worthy of being ignored.


The victim's relationship with the abuser.
The victim and the abuser have a complicated relationship that is difficult, at times, to define in simple terms. I will do my best here to look at the most common traits of that relationship as I have understood them.

Initially, as stated above, the victim will often have no idea their partner is abusive. (Those who do, and remain in the relationship, may well be attempting to “help” the abuser and this is a very dangerous thing for those with little or no knowledge of abusive personalities to attempt. It is difficult enough for a professional to help an abuser, it is certainly not something an amateur should attempt). As the ability to maintain the act of normality under the constant scrutiny of a close partner breaks down, so the real and disturbed person beneath the act will emerge. The first signs that all is not well may be anything from a slow escalation of irritable behaviour to a sudden explosion of violence.


It is important here to make another careful distinction. Not every act of irritable behaviour or sudden aggression means a person is automatically an abuser. All of us get out of bed on the wrong side sometimes. The key indicator is the frequency with which the behaviour occurs.

The most common indicator that one is living with an abuser will be that individuals need to control everything about the victim. This need to control will become all consuming over time and is common to both male and female abusers. * This need to control others seems to stem from two strong desires within the abusive personality. The first, is a desire to remain hidden and the second, is a desire not to feel inferior. In order to understand these two desires it is important to realise that abusers are deeply fearful people who are terrified of the strong and overwhelmingly powerful feelings raging within them. It is this fear that drives their need to bury those feeling as deeply within as possible and then to deny them when they rush to the surface.

Let us look first at the desire to remain hidden.
Within a close personal relationship it is perfectly natural for both parties to closely examine each others personalities and to explore each others feelings. This examination is what the abuser fears most. To the abuser, such a close look at who they are becomes deeply threatening. They spend their wholes lives hiding their true selves both from themselves and from society. They loathe themselves and often fear their capability for violence. They cannot bare coming under scrutiny and this innocent searching by their partner can often be the trigger for their abusive reactions as they try to halt the exploration of their deeper and hidden selves by using intimidation and/or violence. Yet their need to appear normal drives them to seek out a partner and have a “normal” relationship. **

The desire not to be inferior stems from a different set of unconscious dynamics.

We all remember the bright kid in school who was always picked on for being “the teachers pet.” That child stood out in the crowd and by virtue of the fact the he/she was smarter than the rest, made the rest feel inferior. By picking on the bright kid the others were trying to pull that child down to their level in order for them to lose their sense of inferiority. Unmerciful and constant teasing and/or bullying can force the bright child to conform to the wishes of the rest, and those bright kids who join the pack, quickly find the persecution stops. In a similar way, the abuser tries to drag their partner down to their level. This can be achieved by constant bullying and by a technique I have dubbed, verbal machine gunning.

To machine gun verbally means to fire a constant and rapid stream of accusations and insults without ever giving the victim time to answer any of the points made. These insults will often be projections of how the abuser really feels about themselves. For example; if the abuser feels strong feelings of jealousy towards the victims friends and associates, then the abuser accuses the victim of being jealous of him or her. Again, the abuser may feel inadequate in the kitchen, or driving, and so accuses the victim of being a crap cook or a lousy driver. Whatever the accusations are, they will often be delivered at high volume and in such rapid succession that the victim will be both terrified, confused, outraged and hurt, and with so much going on at once within them, feel totally unable to respond. A sort of mental and emotional paralysis ensues that may eventually lead to the complete collapse of the victim. At this stage the abuser is almost drunk on the feelings of power over the victim and if violence is to occur it may happen at that moment of evil euphoria. Victims have told me that they have seen the abuser “smiling down” at them with sick delight as they have folded beneath such onslaughts.

The reasons why the abuser does not want to give the victim time to answer are twofold. Firstly the abuser has absolutely no interest in the thoughts, concerns or feelings of the victim and secondly, the abuser is not interested in dialogue, but only in control over the victim. In the abusers world view, life is all about the great “ME” and not the little “you.”

The extent of control over the victim can sometimes be very far reaching indeed. I have spoken to many male and female victims who's abusive partners have chosen what food they eat and when. What clothes they wear and when. What times they are allowed out of the house and when to come home. Who they are allowed to be friends with and who they must never see. What time they are allowed to sleep and when they must wake up. When they can see their children and when they cannot. What relatives they can visit and those they cannot. What music they can enjoy. What purchases they can make. How much of their own money they can spend. And on and on.

Abusers who fear a partner may be about to leave them will often run up huge debts for their partner. Some will slander their name in the local community in the hope of stopping anyone else being interested in them. Poison the victim. Send abusive text messages to their phones. Stalk the victim or damage the car to prevent them leaving. Keep the victim from his/her children. Threaten suicide. Accuse the victim of rape or sexually molesting children. Make threatening or silent calls late at night. Destroy his/her property. Keep him/her at home against his/her will. Increase the level of violence. Threaten to kill the kids if she/he leaves. Try to ruin his/her reputation by spreading lies about him/her to his/her family and friends. Threaten suicide. Turn the children against the victim. Find and attack him/her in her new home etc.

All of this behaviour is about control and dominance over the victim. All of it is negative and destructive behaviour. It is unlimited in its creative evil and the two lists above are by no means extensive and neither are they mutually exclusive. Each gender is as capable of these things as the other.

* Indeed, so prevalent is this trait that careful and informed questioning by police officers called to a domestic abuse incident may well quickly illicit who is the real abuser and who is the real victim. Something that many police officers need to understand if they are to ever stop making the wild assumption that all abusers are male and all females are victims.

** This may be why many abuse victims are kind, gentle, loyal and deeply loving people. Most abusers will not seek confrontation with people who may fight back. They want easy targets that they can dominate. For the male and female abuser that will often mean a passive personality type is sought as the next victim.

“Treatment” for victims of abuse to avoid.

The co-dependancy (co-alcoholic) idea was first developed to explain other family members reactions to living with an addict and the harmful effects of those reactions. It is an entirely reasonable idea based on sound research. However, during the 1980`s the definition of codependency was expanded beyond all reasonable bounds, by people looking to make quick money by selling cheap books, to include virtually any form of caring for another. Simply put, this means that any and all caring behaviour is a form of psychological illness unless the person being cared for is the self. It could almost have been written by today's narcissistic element who advocate blaming others for the way we feel while accepting no responsibility for our own actions.


The pushers of the modern codependency therapy system of mock psychology will tell you that as a victim of abuse your feelings of caring for the abuser are wrong. (In fact, they will tell you that almost everything you feel about other people is wrong), but caring for others is not a pathological condition. My advice is to avoid these peddlers of doom like the plague. Being a caring person is not wrong but, excessive selfishness is, and in fact, is one of the symptoms of the abuser.

Robert Westermeyer, Ph.D. Has the following to say about the current codependency “fix all” sweeping book shops and chat shows on both sides of the Atlantic.

“Why would a psychologist wish to criticize the codependency idea? Many people claim to have been helped by codependency books and codependency self-help groups. I don't wish to take away anyone's belief that they are better for having integrated the codependency idea into their lifestyles. But it definitely isn't for everyone. Codependency is a nebulous idea, born not of science but of the gut feelings of counsellors and frustrated lay people. It's black and white requirements for recovery, though seeming reasonable on the surface, are not in line with empirical research and have dangerous implications with regard to the most human of attributes, caring. My two primary concerns with the codependency idea are:

The Codependency Idea Pathologizes the Natural Tendency to Care for Others.

The cure for Codependency Mandates Action which is Not Necessarily in Line With Pro social Values.” (Emphasis mine)

He goes on: “A case from several years ago comes to mind involving a caring mother who's 27-year old daughter had been abusing prescription opioids and benzodiazapines for ten years. The daughter finally made the decision attempt a methadone detox, following two months of methadone maintenance. The MD at the methadone clinic recommended that she taper the benzodiazapine, which was Valium (methadone doesn't cover non-opiate drugs). The mother was very invested in her daughter's change efforts and subsequently flew in from out of state to live with her while she detoxed. She agreed to dole out the Valium because the daughter felt that she could not do it on her own without relapsing. The mother hid them in her car and stood watch over her daughter during the first three weeks of her transition. The patient voiced that her mother's presence was imperative for relapse prevention at this time. The mother voiced that it made her feel as though she was finally doing something to help daughter which was panning out. She felt so good about her efforts that she went to an Al-anon meeting. She was literally attacked by three attendees who deemed her behavior enabling and, in addition to deeming her responsible for her daughter's enduring problems with substances, instructed her to go back to her home immediately and let her daughter grapple with her troubles on her own. One said, "She's an adult, and a time comes when you have to let them leave the nest or you're just perpetuating the illness."


Thankfully, this woman had enough conviction and confidence in her values to blow off the advice. Many people don't have this much tenacity to their standards. Many are given such guidance and are left in a complete quandary. The mother's contention was that her daughter was completely responsible for her choice to use or not use. She recognized that her daughter had crippling problems with anxiety and panic and had used the drugs to medicate these states. Though her daughter made the choices, she felt that there was a way she could help her daughter follow through with her motivation to better her life. She knew that if she went back home, her daughter would relapse and that relapse at this point would be devastating to her daughter, who had tried just about every method of quitting imaginable. She fathomed that her daughter might discount the whole methadone choice and revert to prescription drug abuse again.”

With attacks like those above on a mothers need to be involved in her daughters recovery from drug addition, it makes one wonder at times if the psychopaths are running the asylum!

It is a pervasive and disturbing view that relies more on “feelings” than serious research and it is to the medical and political establishments shame that these views have found any credence at all within today's society because they have kept silent in the face of such popularist, false and dangerous ideas.

Instead of buying into these “instant happiness” so-called solutions to modern living learn about assertiveness and ways in which you can better manage the situation you find yourself in.

The best advice that can be given to a victim of abuse is still, get out of the relationship as fast as you can!

Nobody in their right mind likes to see themselves as a victim but the truth is, that until you have broken free from the relationship and overcome the effects of the abuse, a victim is what you are. Once you have overcome the effects of the abuse -- and with the right help, that is almost always possible -- you become a survivor. The ease of transition from victim to survivor will depend entirely upon yourself, the quality of the help you receive if any is needed and the extent to which you were abused. If you wish to cut down on the time needed to recover and be your old self again, leave the abuser as soon as you possibly can.

George Rolph
Founder of No More Silence.
Contact: grolph@no-more-silence.org

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Friday, February 13, 2009

PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - "Triggering" - DSM-IV







I have had symptoms of PTSD for many years, Yet it took this long for the recognition and realization to sink in and thankfully that happened when I contacted EOPC to talk. I had always known I had symptoms I just did not understand why and would oftentimes brush these thoughts away and pretend nothing was wrong.

I am now in the process of receiving therapy for PTSD.

PTSD is NOT a mental illness it is an Injury! A Trauma Injury. Many victims of traumatic experiences have gone through the exact same thing whether that is from emotional abuse, sexual abuse, car wreck, death in the family etc. PTSD does not necessarily have the type of stigma you fear. Our vets that come home from war often, and more often than not, have PTSD. Fighting for our country is honorable -- they were doing a good thing and yet were damaged from their experience. The same is true for you. Source


Women who have been in pathological relationships come away from the relationships with problems associated with fear, worry, and anxiety. This is often related to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or what we call 'High Harm Avoidance'-- being on high alert looking for ways she might get harmed now or in the future.


PTSD, by it's own nature as a disorder, is an anxiety disorder that is preoccupied by both the past (flashbacks and intrusive thoughts of him or events) and by the future (worry about future events, trying to anticipate his behaviors, etc.). With long term exposure to PTSD, this anxiety and worry begins to mask itself, at least in her mind, as 'fear.' In fact, most women lump together the sensations of anxiety, worry, and fear into one feeling and don't differientiate them. The term fear was used by Freud (in contrast to anxiety), to refer to the reaction to real danger. Freud emphasized the difference between fear and anxiety in terms of their relation to danger:Read More From This Article




A lot has to be undone by the therapist and your mind needs to be "Deprogrammed" from years of living with a psychopath, due to the mind games, manipulation , emotional abuse and conditioning they put you through. You need NOT feel embarrassed or ashamed of your symptoms, you need to get help! and the best place for you to gain this help is by talking to EOPC as they can direct you to a good therapist and advise you on healing


I was amazed to find I had a lot of symptoms if not all, of PTSD, I am thankful that I have an explanation and I can start working on healing.



PTSD

The PTSD any victim has have from any dealings with a cyberpath: is not something you should be ashamed of, you did NOTHING wrong. You had NO WAY of knowing the cyberpath's true intentions.you are NOT at fault in any way -- you need to be validated. Saying "get over it" or "it's no big deal" to you is re-victimizing you-- you need properly trained therapists.

It's widely accepted that PTSD can result from a single, major, life-threatening event, as defined in DSM-IV. Now there is growing awareness that PTSD can also result from an accumulation of many small, individually non-life-threatening incidents. To differentiate the cause, the term "Complex PTSD" is used.

There has recently been a trend amongst some psychiatric professionals to label people suffering Complex PTSD as a exhibiting a personality disorder, especially Borderline Personality Disorder. This is not the case - PTSD, Complex or otherwise, is a psychiatric injury and nothing to do with personality disorders.

It seems that Complex PTSD can potentially arise from any prolonged period of negative stress in which certain factors are present, which may include any of:



lack of means of escape,
entrapment,
repeated violation of boundaries,
betrayal,
rejection,
bewilderment,
confusion,
and - crucially - lack of control, loss of control and disempowerment.


It is the overwhelming nature of the events and the inability (helplessness, lack of knowledge, lack of support etc) of the person trying to deal with those events that leads to the development of Complex PTSD.



Situations which might give rise to Complex PTSD include bullying, harassment, abuse, domestic violence, stalking, unresolved grief, [emotional rape, involvement with a cyberpath, betrayal], etc.

Until recently, little (or no) attention was paid to the psychological harm caused by [cyberpathy]. Misperceptions (usually as a result of the observer's lack of knowledge or lack of empathy) still abound:



Common symptoms of PTSD and Complex PTSD that sufferers report experiencing


hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
exaggerated startle response
irritability
sudden angry or violent outbursts flashbacks
nightmares
intrusive recollections, replays
violent visualizations
triggers
sleep disturbance
exhaustion, adrenal fatigue and chronic fatigue
reactive depression
guilt
shame
feelings of detachment
avoidance behaviors
nervousness
anxiety
phobias about specific daily routines, events or objects
irrational or impulsive behaviour
loss of interest
loss of ambition
anhedonia (inability to feel joy and pleasure)
poor concentration
impaired memory
joint pains, muscle pains (sometimes becomes Fibromyalgia and/or Chronic Myofascial Pain)
emotional numbness
physical numbness
low self-esteem
an overwhelming sense of injustice and a strong desire to do something about it.





How do the PTSD symptoms resulting from bullying meet the criteria in DSM-IV? Scroll Down To Read The DSM-IV




A Trigger is a component of PTSD:


Article EOPC


PTSD is a reaction to being exposed to an event which is outside the range of normal human experience. Sometimes it is referred to as post traumatic rape syndrome too. It is a normal human emotional reaction to an abnormal situation. Everyone reacts differently to different situations and it doesn't have to be a life threatening experience for someone to respond in this way. It just has to be perceived by the victim as a traumatic event. It is a psychological phenomenon. It is an emotional condition, from which it is possible to make a full and complete recovery.

PTSD affects hundreds of thousands of people who have been exposed to violent events. It is normal to be affected by trauma. There is help, and it is ok to ask for help. PTSD is not rare. It is not unusual. It is not weak to have PTSD.

Traumatic experiences bring to the fore survival skills which are valuable and useful at the time of the trauma, but which usually become less valuable, less useful and less effective with time. Sometimes survivors become stuck in problem behaviors when their pain is not acknowledged, heard, respected, or understood.

Denial plays a great part here (it didn't happen, or it shouldn't affect you).

Put-downs, dismissal or minimizing of the pain, mis-diagnosis and other forms of secondary wounding keep survivors stuck.

Symptoms may come on soon after the trauma or fifty years later. That is what is meant by the 'post' in PTSD. It is normal too for symptoms to come up again when faced by further trauma and in very stressful times. It is normal to be affected by trauma.

Society has it's own way of dealing with trauma which can both be belittling or denying. For a survivor to be told that what happened to them wasn't that bad, or was no big deal or continually being told it was time that they were over it, or just try and forget it ever happened cause secondary wounding in trauma survivors. It reinforces the mistrust of everyone and everything that trauma evokes in all survivors who no longer can believe that the universe is fair or just.

This ability to do whatever it takes to survive is instinctive. We all have it, and in traumatic enough situations, it will come out or we die. Extreme situations which trigger this reaction again and again may cause survivors to do things in order to survive which can be hard
to look back on later.

Similarly shutting down feelings in order to do whatever it takes to survive, or do your job and help others survive, is a reality based survival skill. Numbness is the answer. It is effective. It will help you live.

Unfortunately when survivors numb their fear, despair and anger, all their feelings, even good ones, are numbed. Numbness is comfortable. Thinking about what they have been through is so painful survivors wind up avoiding thinking about, feeling, or doing anything that reminds them of the trauma. For example, if they feel the trauma was their fault they may spend the rest of their life having to be right so they won't ever be at fault again. If they were happy when the trauma hit, they may avoid happiness forever.





Avoidance Symptoms: TRIGGERS



Symptoms of avoidance can be described as an emotional numbness or coldness towards people who are close to us. Survivors shut people out, or push them away. This in turn affects their relationships with those who are often the ones who are trying hardest to help. When survivors are coping with flashbacks it takes a lot of energy to try and supress the flood of emotions that threaten to overwhelm them. They find that they have no real emotion left for anyone else, and often feel emotionless or numb towards everyone else.

Inability to recall important aspects of the trauma, is another of the ways avoidance and numbing may work. This means the person cannot remember exactly what happened. Many trauma survivors forget in order to survive.

Survivors may also have learned to dissociate, to literally not be there, to survive. They automatically "switch off" during a stressful situation becuase it is too painful to deal with.

Numbness makes it hard for survivors to take care of themselves. Feelings are there to tell us how to do that. If you can't tell what you feel, you can't choose healthy behaviors for yourself.

Another symptom is avoidance of situations or activities that may trigger reminders of the traumatic event. These are commonly referred to as "triggers" Other symptoms may worsen when a situation or activity occurs that reminds them of the original trauma. Often the survivor is unable to identity a trigger without help from someone who knows about their traumatic experience.

Triggers can be people, places, sounds, images, feelings, smells, tastes, films, animals, the tone of someone's voice, body positions or sensations, weather conditions, time factors, or any combination of things that even remotely resemble or remind of traumatic experiences. They can be as subtle, complex and obscure as clues in a good detective novel.

Survivors can become so scared of particular situations that their daily lives are ruled by their attempts to avoid them. PTSD sufferers' inability to work out grief and anger during the traumatic event mean that the trauma will continue to control their behavior without their being aware of it. Depression is a common product of this inability to resolve painful feelings.

Hyperarousal Symptoms The survivor part of us is not able to listen to "reason". It is going to be constantly looking for danger from now on whether or not others think it is reasonable. Real physiological changes occur in the brains of survivors which make them quick to react.

In order to live through the trauma, survivors may develop the capacity to go from being completely fine into a killing rage in seconds. That defensive mechanism helps them live.

Some survivors may stop sleeping soundly. Sleep can get you killed or at the very least "unaware", so they won't take the risk. Survivors
may be uncannily able to read the moods of those around them because the moods of their abusers defined their lives. Sometimes they also become hypervigilant, searching for physical danger everywhere they are and all of the time.

(Survivors of Sex Addicts often suffer from Persistant Sexual Arousal Syndrome - where they are sexually aroused all or most of the time. )

Due to hypervigilance and lack of sleep, it is hard for survivors to concentrate on everyday things. They may do poorly in school and in their everyday lives that leads them to believe they are stupid or inept when actually they have a symptom of PTSD.

Survivors often react faster and more completely to sudden noises or movements. These are lifesaving skills that the survivor feels they need while they are still at risk. These are reality based, effective survival skills. They keep you alive.

They don't go away by themselves. They need specialized help.





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