The Controller Part 2 - When Love Is A Four Letter Word.

By Roger Melton MD

Love is a two-way street when two people know how to give it and receive it. But to Controllers, it's a dead-end freeway.

Love, to them, is simply a means to an end. It is a vulnerability to be exploited. Obedience equals love in their minds, and each type of Controller seeks to achieve his version of "love" in a way tailored to his style of control. The Sadist's version of "loving" control is as distinct as a tarantula crawling across an angel-food cake. Love, to him, is the terror in his victim's eyes.

To the Sociopath, love is the thrill he gets when you've finally taken his bait, he's yanked on the line and the hook is buried deep in your heart. Love, to him, is the look of stunned bewilderment and dread your eyes reveal when you realize it's too late to run.

To the Borderline, love walks between the blades of an emotionally double-edged razor, which swings and slices between emotion-soaked heavens and hells. "Love," to the Borderline male, often ends in the cemetery. Almost half of all batterers and stalkers are Borderline.

If someone with a Borderline Personality Disorder attempts to draw you into a relationship, there is a very simple, concrete way to know it. Pay attention to your stomach. Even though he may initially seem sweet, attentive and empathic, you will likely perceive a subtle tightening in the pit of your abdomen, like a small rock you've suddenly noticed in your shoe-barely noticeable, but there.

Listen to that rock, because it is the voice of instinct, and it's trying to tell you something. Listen to your fear and start scanning for an incoming missile. The Borderline is often a tough target to initially confirm, but close attention to his attitudes and behaviors and an emotional position of calm neutrality can help you confirm his threat-potential. And if Borderline is confirmed, get out of there before it's too late.

But if too late has happened, and you are already involved with a Borderline Controller, you have experienced far more than the pinch of a small stone in your gut. You've been engulfed in an insane, hyper-emotional ride where spewing sheets of scalding lava alternate with warm, soothing baths of emotional saccharine. Life itself will have become a series of whipsawing emotional extremes, between his clinging adoration and hateful spite. The hallmark of this pattern is that "just when things seem to be going well," and he is treating you best, he suddenly turns into a perverse version of Air Jordan and you're the ball. Slam-dunked would be a mild way of describing the receiving end of this intensely emotional pounding.

He was just treating you like a goddess. He was being so sweet and attentive. Maybe he was even telling you how wonderful you are. Then, in the sudden twinkling of a diabolical eye, he's treating you like you've become a "bitch-on-wheels." And you don't know why.

He accuses you of everything from insincerity to infidelity, and your mind scrambles to discover what you just said or did that's setting him off. He keeps saying it's you, and is so intensely convinced that it is you that it's hard not to believe him. Later, after his firestorm of vindictiveness has died down, you might realize what triggered him. You did not respond "right" to his compliments, or scratched your nose in the midst of his adoration, or maybe you just burnt the toast that morning or were two-minutes late coming home from the office. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. There will always be something - apparently innocuous to you - which will abruptly stoke his raging fire again. And again and again, round and around, until your spirit and soul are finally ground into fine, despondent grains of charred debris, and your mind eventually looks like a Tokyo china-shop after a 9.0 earthquake.

Maybe he never physically beats you. Or maybe he does. Or maybe he never will. But you never know. He is stunningly impulsive and unpredictable. But he always assaults you emotionally, ripping into every fiber of your being with verbal vindictive, threats and accusations. Being keel-hauled over a coral reef is a cake-walk, compared to a Borderline's torment.

The only thing predictable about such a Controller is his extreme unpredictability. It is only after you become intimately snared into him that you discover the soul-grinder that lies waiting to strike. Until then, you may even find him amazingly attentive, sensitive and empathic to your every need. He can initially appear to be completely non-threatening. That is why it is critical to learn how to identify this type of individual, because there is a high probability that brutally sociopathic or sadistic-type personality disorders may hide behind his appealing camouflage of muted sensitivity. When borderline, sociopathic and sadistic disorders combine with a narcissistic disorder, a particularly deceptive and dangerous Molotov cocktail of character pathology results. Iraq's Saddam Hussein appears to totally manifest just such a combination. And there are many minor Saddam's already prowling the streets, workplaces, bedrooms and boardrooms of America.

A Borderline Personality Disorder is a master at transforming other's sympathy into pity. In terms of being vulnerable to borderline-manipulation, anyone that is capable of compassion, protectiveness or love can be easily deceived by a Borderline. If one of these extraordinarily deceptive individuals attaches himself to you, and you are particularly prone to confuse pity with love, then you might as well go skin-diving with ether in your scuba-tanks instead of oxygen. A relationship with a Borderline can be like swimming along a stunningly gorgeous coral reef, surrounded by a school of smiling piranha. The scenery may look divine, but you may be dinner.

Early detection of borderline characteristics can be very difficult. Clinical experts on this personality disorder commonly advise interns and colleagues to avoid treating more than one or two of these types, because treatment can become intensely confusing, persistently crisis-oriented and volatile. I know of several former clinicians that left successful practices because they could not learn to identify and deal with borderline patients. It was not that individuals who solely possess this type of personality disorder are necessarily physically violent, but they are geniuses at generating emotional and psychological chaos in people who get too close to them. The frenzied emotional-madness that characteristically runs riot inside of these individuals has an uncanny way of getting inside of those nearest to them.

Over a century ago, psychiatrists discovered this phenomenon and labeled it a folie deux, or "folly of two." It was observed that spouses often took on the symptoms of their psychotic partners. When the psychotic partner was removed from the home and hospitalized, his spouse's symptoms vanished within two weeks. The same phenomenon often occurs today when someone is in a relationship with a Borderline Personality Disorder. It is like becoming infected with emotional-malaria. One moment you're burning with fever. In the next instant your teeth chatter like chilled jackhammers. But if you learn the subtle, early clues to recognizing a potential Borderline, you can avoid your own trip to the sanitarium.

Particularly sensitive and adept therapists often describe a typically paradoxical reaction, commonly experienced by most people when first meeting someone who is Borderline. While feeling gently or tenderly drawn toward him, there is simultaneously an almost inconspicuous sensation of a vague knot in the pit of the stomach, as mentioned earlier. A more general description might be that a person feels that he or she too quickly likes someone and feels a faint sense of unease or dread toward him at the same time.

If you experience such mixed sensations when first meeting anyone, ask yourself why you simultaneously liked him so quickly and felt uncomfortable. If it's difficult to answer either question, put your radar system on high alert and scan closely the next time you meet him. If he is Borderline and has locked onto your sympathetic nature, that next encounter may not be too far away.

Without the presence of other personality disorders, someone who is Borderline tends to rapidly move toward developing a dependent relationship with those who show them interest and sympathy. An early sign of this dependency can be recognized by a rapid increase in contact, initiated by the Borderline, and a sense that such an individual has an uncanny ability to read you better than a blind man reads Braille.

Even though you can develop a very sophisticated form of personality-detection radar, it will never be as subtle or fine-tuned as a Borderline's. They have what seem like high-grade, instinctually built-in personality detection systems, comparable to extremely sophisticated phased-array radar systems used in the military for detecting high-speed, small ballistic projectiles, like the cruise missiles used to attack Iraq during the Gulf War.

This system appears to be purely instinctual in Borderlines, because they do not seem conscious of its presence or the information it gives to them, even when this ability is pointed out to them. Generally, this eerily unconscious quality seems to pervade everything about them. In a very basic sense, they do not know who they are. This is one of the most unnerving aspects about them for people who get too close.

If you ask a normal person on January 1st to describe themselves, he or she can give a fairly detailed description of what they think, feel and believe about the things that are important to them in life. Ask the same question, six months or a year later, and you will get almost the same answers. But if you ask a Borderline that question at noon today, the answer may be completely different by dusk, and will possess an indistinct, blurry quality, as if someone is drawing a picture of himself in mud. Or, depending on whom they are with, they may give two completely different pictures of themselves to two different people, ten minutes apart.

In mental hospitals, these are the patients who generate intense conflicts between staff members, unless those members understand what they are dealing with. One psychiatrist diagnoses him as schizophrenic, another labels him manic-depressive and a third believes he is a hypochondriac. A family therapist thinks he just has a "boundary problem," a psychiatric nurse thinks he's only neurotic, the vocational rehabilitation counselor admires his creative potential and a psychiatric aide thinks he's full of shit. The only people who know his true identity are the other patients. To them he is the master chameleon who can change his psychological appearance on a dime. He is the fox who fools the hunters. But who'll listen to them? They're not "professionally licensed."

What can be especially disturbing to others about this chameleon-like "change-ability" is that Borderlines are oblivious to what they are doing. They are not consciously making-up these different identity versions of themselves. They just do it reflexively, as if they run on some instinctually eerie automatic-pilot.

Many psychological theories exist to explain this eerie process in a Borderline - from theories on "object relations" to "dissociation." But staying around a borderline Controller long enough to discover the cause of his strange attitudes and behaviors increases the probability of becoming his victim. Hesitation allows time for him to develop an attachment. And attachment can prove deadly, especially if a borderline disorder combines with another of the personality disorders prone to physical violence. Even if you only become involved with a solely borderline Controller, though, be prepared for a nightmare journey. You're in for an emotionally blistering E-Ticket ride in Relationship Jurassic Park.

Regardless of how a Controller with a Borderline Personality Disorder can alter and tailor his appearance to deceive others, he still presents with a clear and characteristic personality pattern. This pattern usually emerges in three stages or roles: Vulnerable Seducer, Clinger and Hater. These stages cycle and often swing wildly from one role to the next, but through drawing a picture of how these stages appear, a basic portrait can be loaded into your developing Controller-detection-system.

At first, a Borderline male may appear shy, vulnerable or "ambivalently in need of care." This is the first clue: beware of men who feel like lost puppies. If you experience an urge to take him home and feed him, don't- especially if you are in an emotionally needy state. But if you can't stop yourself, then avoid a future feeding frenzy on your soul by making a careful scan for the following reactions and characteristics as you enter this spirit-eater's lair.

In the beginning, you will feel a rapidly accelerating sense of compassion for whatever painful plight he has gotten himself into, because he is a master at portraying himself as the "victim of circumstance." But listen closely to how he sees himself as a victim. As his peculiar emotional invasion advances upon you, you will hear how no one understands him - except you. Other people have always left him because of their "insensitivity." He is always being betrayed, just when he starts trusting people. But there is something "special" about you, because "you really know me."

It is this intense way he has of bearing down on you emotionally that can feel very seductive. You will feel elevated, adored - almost worshiped. And you will feel that way quickly. It may seem like a great deal has happened between the two of you in a short period of time, because every conversation is so intense, and his attention is so focused on you. But if you're paying attention, you will feel his adoration by the third date, or sooner. Initially, it feels like an invisible army of sweet, chocolate ants is subtly infiltrating you. But the invasion may be hard to notice because it feels good, just as the Trojans must have felt good when they towed the Trojan Horse into their city, only to discover it filled with Greek Berserkers bent on destruction and conquest. Heed the warning that Cassandra gave to Troy's King Priam; "Fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts." But it's difficult to say no to a gift from the gods, especially if you have already tapped one too many dry relationship-wells.

Here is a man who may look like a dream come true. He not only seems to make you the center of his attention, but he even craves listening to your opinions, thoughts and ideas. If you have never experienced a man treating you like this before, it can seem like you have really found your heart's desire. But like anything that seems too good to be true, it usually is. While you may think you're about to enjoy the tasty pleasures of a Mr. Goodbar, Mr. Goodbar is about to take more than a taste out of you. And borderline men emotionally eat their women whole.

Once he has successfully candied his hook with adoration, he will weld it into place by reeling in your attention and concern. His intense interest in you subtly transforms. He still appears to be interested in you, but no longer in what you are interested in. His interest becomes your exclusive interest in him. This is when things begin to feel "uncomfortable." Your thoughts, feelings and ideas fascinate him, but only when they focus on his problems. You can tell when this happens because you can feel him "perk-up" emotionally whenever your attention focuses upon his feelings and conflicts. Those moments can emotionally hook your compassion more deeply into him, because that is when he will treat you well - even tenderly. That's why, if you confuse pity with love, you'll believe you're in love with him. Especially if your maternal instinct is strong and rescuing is at the heart of your "motherly code." Following that code results in the most common excuse I hear as a therapist, as to why many women stay with borderline men, ".... But I love him!" Adult love is built on mutual interest, care and respect - not on one-way rescues. And mothering is for kids. Not grown men.

But, if like King Priam, you do fall prey to this Trojan Horse and let him inside your city gates, the first Berserker to leave the horse will be the devious Clinger. A master at strengthening his control through pity, he is brilliant at eliciting sympathy and identifying those most likely to provide it-like the steady-tempered and tenderhearted.

The world ails him. Physical complaints are common. His back hurts. His head aches. Peculiar pains of all sorts come and go like invisible, malignant companions. If you track their appearance, though, you may see a pattern of occurrence connected to the waning or waxing of your attentions. His complaints are ways of saying, "don't leave me. Save me!" And his maladies are not simply physical. His feelings ail him too.

He is depressed or anxious, detached and indifferent or vulnerable and hypersensitive. He can swing from elated agitation to mournful gloom at the blink of an eye. Watching the erratic changes in his moods is like tracking the needle on a Richter-scale chart at the site of an active volcano, and you never know which flick of the needle will predict the big explosion.

But after every emotional Vesuvius he pleads for your mercy. And if he has imbedded his guilt-hooks deep enough into your conscientious nature, you will stay around and continue tracking this volcanic earthquake, caught in the illusion that you can discover how to stop Vesuvius before he blows again. But, in reality, staying around this cauldron of emotional unpredictability is pointless. Every effort to understand or help this type of man is an excruciatingly pointless exercise in emotional rescue.

It is like you are a Coast Guard cutter and he is a drowning man. But he drowns in a peculiar way. Every time you pull him out of the turbulent sea, feed him warm tea and biscuits, wrap him in a comfy blanket and tell him everything is okay, he suddenly jumps overboard and starts pleading for help again. And no matter how many times you rush to the emotional - rescue, he still keeps jumping back into trouble. It is this repeating, endlessly frustrating pattern which should confirm to you that you are involved with a Borderline Personality Disorder. No matter how effective you are at helping him, nothing is ever enough. No physical, financial or emotional assistance ever seems to make any lasting difference. It's like pouring the best of your self into a galactic-sized Psychological Black Hole of bottomless emotional hunger. And if you keep pouring it in long enough, one-day you'll fall right down that hole yourself. There will be nothing left of you but your own shadow, just as it falls through his predatory "event horizon." But before that happens, other signs will reveal his true colors.

Sex will be like a rocket ride on the Oblivion Express. Anyone who can be so instinctually tuned in to reading your needs and manipulating them can also pinpoint your g-spot with the fine-tuned skill of a Swiss jeweler cleaving a diamond. It will seem wonderful - for a while.

The intensity of his erotic passion can sweep you away like a strange destiny on the blue sea of august, but his motive for lusting upon you is double-edged. One side of it comes from the instinctually built-in, turbulent emotionality of his disorder. Intensity is his trump-card. But the other side of him is driven by an equally concentrated need to control you. The sexual pyrotechnics, while imposing, are motivated from a desire to dominate you, not please you. And, after a while, too much of a good thing might actually be too much, to the point where you feel like buying an arc-welding kit and forging your own cast-iron chastity belt. Or perhaps his erotic intensity will be there in a more cunning way. A borderline-sociopathic patient once described this "way," as if he had just invented the light bulb. Little did he know that thousands of erotic Edisons had already preceded him.

Shortly after he had seduced and married his third wife, a Controller named "Tom" developed a calculating and classically "I hate you-I love you" borderline way of sexually controlling his woman. Since he knew that the marked conscientiousness of his wife's character made her particularly loyal, he was certain his method of erotic control would work because, no matter how much she desired sex, she would never seek it with someone else. This was the key to his method, and his way of making her feel simultaneously responsible and guilty for her own desires and his cunning manipulation of them.

Knowing that he had control of her loyalty, he would "work" her sexual longing by timing its gratification. He would do this by turning her on, then losing interest by feigning "a tough day at the office," "a sore back," or some other pretext. All the while, his borderline instinct for reading her level of sexual frustration watched and waited, until he could tell that she was in a state of carnal gridlock. Then he released the laser intensity of his loin-lions upon her now fever-pitched libido and gratified her to the nth-degree.

To increase the agonizing effect of this cycle upon her, he added two more factors of frustration. He initiated the first by catching her while she secretly masturbated. And when he caught her, he always feigned outraged and agonized sexual betrayal. This ratcheted up her sense of guilt even further. Then - just to twist that ratchet one last click - he dropped using excuses like tough days at the office and sore backs for one that was a psychological coup de trompe' of controller manipulation. He started accusing her of sexually abusing him!

He had completely succeeded in deceiving her into believing that she was manipulating poor, erotically-exhausted him. And he had gotten her to cling to him! Once a Borderline Controller has succeeded in this kind of sexual "trick," or in other less genital manipulations, the Hater appears. This hateful part of him may have emerged before, but you probably will not see it in full, acidic bloom until he feels he has achieved a firm hold on your conscience and compassion. But when that part makes it's first appearance, rage is how it breaks into your life.

What gives this rage its characteristically borderline flavor is that it is very difficult for someone witnessing it to know what triggered it in reality. But that is its primary identifying clue: the actual rage-trigger is difficult for you to see. But in the Borderline's mind it always seems to be very clear. To him, there is always a cause. And the cause is always you. Whether it is the tone of your voice, how you think, how you feel, dress, move or breathe - or "the way you're looking at me," - he will always justify his rage by blaming you for "having to hurt you."

Rage reactions are also unpredictable and unexpected. They happen when you least expect it. And they can become extremely dangerous.

If a Controller is solely Borderline, his rages may remain verbal. You might be ducking a lot of dishes, glasses and other breakables, or the occasional airborne frying pan or flying cutlery set. But do not deceive yourself into believing that he is not directly aiming any of these missiles at you. Sooner or later one of them will "just happen" to hit you-or the kids, the cat or dog. And his excuse will be, "It was an accident," or "I didn't mean to hit you," or the ever-classic "Why didn't you duck?" - Not, "Why do I act so insane?"

With a Borderline, there is also the danger that one of these rages will precipitate or be precipitated by a temporary or long-lasting psychotic break. If this happens, a scattered state of rage may instantly become a precisely aimed attack, with you fixed in the cross-hairs.

If you sense any explosion coming, or one has already begun, leave. Do not try to "reason" him out of it. Immediately grab the kids, cats and dogs and get out now. Don't worry about what the neighbors or anyone else will think if he chases you outside. "Witness statements" to the police can help if you need to file a restraining order.

While there is never a guarantee that a solely borderline Controller will become physically violent or not, they will always become verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive. Just keep one simple fact always in mind, regardless of whether a Controller is borderline, narcissistic, sociopathic or sadistic: Whenever any of them are criticizing characteristics in you, they are making autobiographical statements about themselves.

Blame is their way of unloading their character defects onto you. Listen closely to the hateful things they say to you about you. You are listening to verbatim descriptions of their character defects. This is extremely important to remember, especially in the midst of verbal attack. These are the only moments when you will hear the truth about the man who lies concealed behind the steel wall of his personality disorder. But never point that fact out to him. If you do, it may be the last time you see him alive. But not because you're still around to know he's not dead.






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YIDWITHLID - Fails At The Internet.

Not content with ruining his victims lives with attacks on their image and being a complete idiot most of the time, YIDWITHLID has hit new levels on the BS meter.

Being unemployed again for the Nth time and sofa surfing , YID is content to sit around on his makeshift throne and spam message boards with his blog site address and insane babbling.

As YIDWITHLID is obviously so in tune with the political issues of the world it's funny how he does not realize he is posting a thread that was last years news. In fact 2 years old to be precise. (2007 Book Excerpt)

Narcissists have no real sense of time, they spend all their time and effort thinking about themselves so they actually miss what is really going on in the world today and scan the internet for the first interesting 911 thread they can get their hands on. Narcissists don't pay attention to anything outside their orbital field.

Maybe if he read up on SEO (Search Engine Optimization) tools he wouldn't have to spend all day and night spamming boards. I personally promise to read his blog if he disappears from the planet altogether and never returns.

As you can see from the Board And His Thread his number was up on Page 5 when someone linked to Enpsychopedia with a nice bold title of Cyberpath, Sexual Predator, Zionist Blogger, Marketing Executive, Possible Sociopath



Screenshot Of Said Thread Exposure




Enpsychopedia basically lists his pathology and narcissism and lies ..........and links back to Cyberpaths Site listing his aliases and crimes and many links showcasing said crimes.


Never ever go to a conspiracy forum and attempt to gain respect or blog hits because the people housed on such boards are the most paranoid people on the internet/planet and will google your ass until they find dirt.

And in this case I think I have made my point. Happy Blogging :)





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Stalking - An Example. YidWithLid

Please read my previous post on "stalking and why they do it"here

Another victim of a psychopath The Stumbling Block has been through hell and back with "YWL" (The psychopath in her life) but that hell is still ongoing as he refuses to STOP STALKING her. Even though the NYPD is involved in the case.

Here is an excerpt from the entry on her website which you can find here


"Just a couple weeks after [YWL]s extramarital activities were found out and we had our “falling out” (he never contacted me after threatening me, never tried to speak with me or explain… I guess that’s his definition of …uh …falling out), I was checking the hit meter for my personal blog.

I stopped short. My PTSD anxiety hit the gas. I was actually shaking.

I was being watched. Yes, me – the “stalker”! I was being stalked!

By YWL. I double and tripled checked and sent it to a geek friend and yes, he was on my blog. Regularly – maybe once a week at least.

I told my counselor, who knew I loved writing and having a blog. She advised me to find a way to block him from my blog if it was so triggering to me. I didn’t want to take it down and start over. I have been blogging since 2002. I really had nothing to hide. Unfortunately, my blog platform does not yet allow for IP blocking."

Of course we are to cut YWL all sorts of slack for my ‘hurting him, his family, etc.’ but no slack for me being completely traumatized, ending up in the hospital a few times, being unable to drive or do much for weeks thereafter, dismantling my computer (according to him I was supposedly stalking & harrassing him then.) – noooo, somehow he stalks me and reads all my pain & anguish but HE’S THE VICTIM. Scary.

Heaven forbid I was something that was a real human being not some THING that could be clicked off with his mouse or blocked on IM, huh?







Please read the rest of her site, and the rest of the Entry

What astonishes me is even when the psychopath/stalker has been caught out, he still DOES IT! he carries on! it's an obsession! The psychopath doesn't stop thinking about himself long enough to realize his victims are smart! and can call them on their behaviour yet the psychopath will still stand there and in plain sight proclaim that "he is the victim" . It's any wonder why they carry on after being exposed, yet we all know it's a compulsion.

“You are dealing with a totally delusional human being, who builds his own fantasies about his reality and believes his own pathological lies. How can you possibly hope to have a healthy relationship with someone who bases his whole existence on deceit? IMPOSSIBLE! And don’t kid yourself – They know exactly what they are doing – They prey, victimize, and devastate.”"



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Who Am I?

I am your neighbour , your brother, your sister, your father, your mother and child. I am your therapist, your architect, your school teacher and friend. I am your husband, your lover, a student & politician. I am your banking advisor, your accountant, and little league coach, your doctor, your dentist, your preacher.


I come from all walks of life and manipulation is my game. I am the master of mind games and like any champion I know and study my opponents well.


I am good looking , successful and charming. I disregard all consequences of my actions, I live on the edge and deny myself nothing.


Magnetic, electrifying, convincing and powerful. When I walk into a room all eyes gravitate to me.


I can sweep you off your feet, wine and dine you and promise you the earth even though I will never deliver, this is the bait, the hook with which to reel you in, they are but empty promises.


I am shallow and callous, cruel and hostile, with a deep seated rage everything and everyone around me are potential targets and opportunities.


I am oblivious and indifferent to the devastation I cause. My ultimate goal is the creation of the next willing victim. I am toxic, a disease, a plague on your life that will sweep through like a violent hurricane destroying all that lay at your feet.


I demand obedience, belief in my greatness and complete subjugation to all my whims , needs and attention.


I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, no matter what I will have my own way. I take what I want when I want it.


I am hostile and domineering, I humiliate my victims, they are an instrument to be used and abused. Objects I can move and position to my satisfaction.


I have no morals, no values, no responsibilities. I am here to be pleased not to please.


I am unmoved and cold by tales of grief, I am neither genuine nor sincere but I can cry and feign emotion as good as any great actor in Hollywood but at the core is only my hate, rage and jealousy.


I cannot relate to anothers pain and suffering, but I can dish it out. I let nothing stand in my way, no challenge is too great for me. In my book the end always justifies the means.


I strategically plan how to break you down, and use anything I can against you. If something is important to you I will deprive you of it, I will make you jump through hoops to get it. I will dangle the prize in front of you and make you run for it.


Anything I might do for you comes at a price, my attention is costly and is a debt that has to be paid to me in full. You must be grateful and eternally obedient. I will never inform you that your debts won't ever be satisfied. I collect back the high interest you owe me.


The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow you are waiting & hoping for won't ever be there.


When I inflict pain on you, I enjoy it , it is the ultimate fix, the ultimate drug induced high to see you suffer and know that I have that power and control over you. This is my sick addiction.


I can play the with-holding game , the forgetting game , the martyr game , the lying game , the devaluation game, the deflecting and projecting game. I can do them all, there are no limits to the games I can play and I will always come out the winner.


I am covert, overt, obsessive and shallow. I am the puppet master to your strings, when I pull you must dance. I am sadistic, jealous and cruel. I am secretive, private and sly. I am passive and aggressive, I am boastful and proud.


I am a parasite, a criminal, unreliable, a con. . I am egotistical , glib and superficial. I am Jekyll and Hyde all rolled into one.


You will degrade yourself for me, you will slim down or fatten up, grow your hair long or cut if off, you will wear the clothes I choose. You are to be pruned, clipped and designed, like any great artist I will only be seen with the best.


My fist is designed to teach you. If you didn't do something to my standards or you ignored my requests you will be punished until you get it right. I am unforgiving, a miser and a brute.


When you cry I laugh, when you're sad I rage, when you're happy I am angry, and when you're beaten down with no self esteem , no hope and no way out I am happy, satisfied & content , I am God in these moments.


I can sniff the vulnerable a mile away. I will devour you and suck the life force from you in a matter of moments. I seek out the vulnerable, weak, the broken and the destitute.


I am your knight in shining armour, I showed you pity and gave you attention when life was unbearable, I saved you from your miserable existence, I will always be owed and never owing.


You will ALWAYS need me, you will never survive without me, I am your rock, your protector , your punisher and your lover. I will tell you whatever you want to hear, as long as you carry on doing what I want.


You are a purchase, an object, a product, a toy.


If you dare achieve anything of merit I will take the credit away from you and punish you severely, I will mock you, put you down and rage at you until you understand that I am the only one who deserves such praise, award and adulation.


When you are focusing on yourself you are not focusing on me , and this makes me angry. I am not on top of the pedestal where I belong.



Any friends you have I will order you drop, any attention spent on friends and family is attention that could be spent on me. If you do not comply I will write and speak lies about you to them, I will turn them against you and isolate you until you comply with my wishes.



All eyes should be on me at all times, when they are not I will turn on you in an instant like a rabid dog and rip your ideas, thoughts and opinions apart.



I cannot change, I cannot reform, I cannot feel pity or remorse. I have no conscience , No empathy, not even a morsel of compassion for you. I am completely amoral. I am contradictory and my hypocrisy knows no bounds.



I am a hypocrite, what I say and what I do are two very different things. You must learn I am always right. I know how to do everything better. I know the answer to all of the world's biggest problems.


My public image is everything to me, how I am perceived by others is extremely important. I am admirable, gentle, kind, loving, humble and successful.


I twist the facts to suit myself, I rewrite history where I see fit and you must believe it at all costs. I embellish, Omit and dramatise everything to suit my needs.


I refuse to listen , if anyone did anything wrong it was you and not me. I am always the victim and never the abuser.



I am a great big projection machine and I will deflect and project any evil or bad behaviour back onto you, because you see , You are the problem not me.



You will seek my approval in everything 24 hours a day , 7 days a week. You have no personal identity, you are what I make you. You are to back down and keep quiet and doubt yourself daily. You will hold the belief that you have to try harder to please me. Any opinions you hold will have to match mine. I will accept nothing less.


I am unable and unwilling to behave any differently. I am judgmental, slanderous , fickle and critical. I am haughty, arrogant and envious. I am seductive , repulsive , an addict.


I covet success, power, brilliance and beauty. What I haven't already acquired I will take from others. If I want it, it's mine.


I am special, unique and above punishment, reform or repentance. I cannot and will not be judged.


If you do not produce and live up to my expectations I shall bore of you , I will dispose of you in any way that is of greatest benefit & pleasure to me. I care not if you cannot produce due to my punishments or if you are too old to comply, sick or infirm, all that matters to me is replacing you with a newer , more co-operative model that will meet my needs.


You cannot escape me , I will be the thorn in your side, the pebble in your shoe. I will forever consider you to be the person who failed me, who abandoned my needs. Even years after I leave you I will still watch you, harass you, tell lies about you and name and shame you. You are my unfinished business that I intend to collect upon.


I am a leader, a preacher, a schoolteacher, a scientist, an actor, a doctor, a nurse, a salesman and your mayor. I am everywhere in society, I am in your church, in your schools, and in your home.


I am the alpha and omega. Everything begins and ends with me


I may look human, I have all the characteristics of one, My skin , hair, blood and all that defines me as a human is just a disguise. It is a mask of sanity.


So who am I?

come closer and I'll tell you.


I am the wolf in sheep's clothing and you my dear are the prey.





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Predators Use Facebook To Stalk & Abuse - & Other Networking Websites - So BEWARE! - Gareth Rodger Now Trolling Facebook.

Let's Start With - Douglas Beckstead First.....


One example of a predator using facebook to harass his victims and obtain more enablers is Douglas Beckstead







Would you want this predator meeting your children at christmas? No neither would i! so run as fast as you can from Beckstead if you ever happen to come across him.


Beckstead is one of the WORST predators apart from serial killers that I have ever ever read about. This guy is sick and depraved. Please show your support and check out The Beckstead Exposure Site for more information.





Online Stalking

For people as self-absorbed and seemingly uninterested in you as malignant narcissists are, they are very snoopy. They go through your drawers and papers. They are looking for dirt, and they are trying to find out if you're on to them. Hence, like all abusers, they often spy on and stalk their victims.


Narcissists stalk prey on the Web, as well. Often they do this by posing as a victim and trying to initiate contact with some hurting person who posts in a group or blog. Therefore, when posting to any group or blog, you should use a screen name and be leery of forming a relationship with anyone out there who emails you privately and tries to strike one up with you.





Gareth Rodger


Psychopaths view any social exchange as a "feeding opportunity," a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner. Their motives are to manipulate and take, ruthlessly and without remorse. [Hare]

If you reply to the psychopaths correspondence, whether that be via email, phone or face to face you ought to know that: "To these violent men, control is like oxygen. Every sign of submission from others is like the breath of life, falsely confirming their delusion that only brute force affirms their worth. Failing to dominate a woman triggers loose a choking fear in these men, which they cannot face. That hidden fear is the truth that threatens their common delusion of godlike invincibility and exposes them as frightened little men, terrified of everyone and everything, including their own guilt. But guilt, for them, is intolerable." Source


Even when living together Gareth was always sniffing the wireless network to snoop on what i was doing online, He would go through my computer files & Mobile/Cell phone when I wasn't home too. He would ask our mutual friends what I had been doing, and who I had been talking to also. He was stalking me even when we were together. When we broke up? .....Nothing has changed.







Check out his comments and quotes in the image below - You can see his interests are People, Traveling, Money, & Success - Click Image To Enlarge.








I have recently come to learn that Gareth has made a facebook profile very recently. One of our mutual friends who informed me he "Disliked Gareth" & "Thought he was weird and creepy" has added him to his friends list.

Which means because Gareth and I both have a "Mutual Friend" in common on facebook , he can read what I write on my own profile, and possibly coerce our mutual friend into giving him information or turn him against me.



Click Image To Enlarge








Gareth and the "Mutual Friend" have not spoken since 2006 (or so I was told by the mutual friend) so WHY on earth would a psychopath who hasn't in the past or present EVER cared about his friends, suddenly add just this one Mutual Friend and not any of the others we used to share? could it be because these other "friends" are all aware of Gareth's Bulls****? I think so yes.

Or could it be because he wants to bump my blog down on google by adding more profiles? I am guessing yes again.


Gareth seems to believe that because I am "online" that my life is "online" however this is NOT the case. Stalking online is one of the predators modus operandi and one they never seem to give up, even 7 years later in some cases they are STILL doing it.


He stalks this blog, and has been stalking my other profiles for more than 2 years now.


In fact you might find (as all predators do) that your predator might start accusing YOU of stalking HIM online. Don't BUY into their BS.


Like physical abusers, emotional abusers will often stalk their former partners. The stalker's objective is often to control her through cultivating fear rather than making direct or specific threats, or confronting the her. This is a subtle form of terrorism, because abuse victims are often very emotionally (if not physically) afraid of their abusers once they wake up.

Gareth still WONT accept my boundaries, he STILL contacts me.














Comments On His Photo (above) - His Friends Appear To See What I See Too...(Click Image To Enlarge)









Ex-partners of abusers will often express fear of their abuser, and will have no desire to be anywhere near the abuser. On the other hand, the abuser may try to appear as if he is calm, rational, and still supportive of his ex-partner, despite the fact that he will also express the opinion that he believes she is quite unstable. (are you on the same boards? visit the same sites? But its YOU that is stalking him? Because the cyberpath cannot and will not maintain a cordial distance! But that's YOUR fault. LOL... NOT)



He will make statements such as saying that he "bears her no ill-will", etc., but then will show no respect for her boundaries ... The abuser will still inquire with friends as to how she is doing, implying that his inquiry is because he cares about her - he does care - about retaining those last vestiges of control, even after the breakup. What he really wants to know is if she is suffering or doing badly, because that feeds his sick ego. He feels best when he puts other people in as much pain as he is in. Source EOPC



Some predators go so far as to accuse his targets/victims of being PREDATORS (can you say PROJECTION?)


Predators are ANGRY at their victims. FOR TELLING THE TRUTH AND SEEKING HELP FOR THEIR TRAUMA. and for Ripping their Mask Of Sanity off leaving them exposed


They will say "see!! see how she is!! she's nuts and won't leave me alone! she's trying to manipulate me! She's stalking me!"

If you really want to help them? Expose them. Make them accountable. Don't let them scare you into silence. Help others stay away! Source EOPC



The Narcissist Feels entitled to your time, attention, admiration, and resources. Interprets every rejection as an act of aggression which leads to a narcissistic injury. Reacts with sustained rage and vindictiveness. Can turn violent because he feels omnipotent and immune to the consequences of his actions.







Best coping strategy

Make clear that you want no further contact with him and that this decision is not personal. Be firm. Do not hesitate to inform him that you hold him responsible for his stalking, bullying, and harassment and that you will take all necessary steps to protect yourself. Narcissists are cowards and easily intimidated. Luckily, they never get emotionally attached to their prey and so can move on with ease. If like me this doesn't work - ignore ALL correspondence from the psychopath. After 3 years Gareth still WONT accept my boundaries what's to say your predator will accept yours?



In short, the psychopath - and the narcissist to a lesser extent - is a predator. If we think about the interactions of predators with their prey in the animal kingdom, we can come to some idea of what is behind the "mask of sanity" of the psychopath. Just as an animal predator will adopt all kinds of stealthy functions in order to stalk their prey, cut them out of the herd, get close to them and reduce their resistance, so does the psychopath construct all kinds of elaborate camoflage composed of words and appearances - lies and manipulations - in order to "assimilate" their prey.



This leads us to an important quesion: what does the psychopath REALLY get from their victims? It's easy to see what they are after when they lie and manipulate for money or material goods or power. But in many instances, such as love relationships or faked friendships, it is not so easy to see what the psychopath is after. Without wandering too far afield into spiritual speculations - a problem Cleckley also faced - we can only say that it seems to be that the psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer. Just as normal humans enjoy seeing other people happy, or doing things that make other people smile, the psychopath enjoys the exact opposite.


Psychopaths make their way by conning people into doing things for them; obtaining money for them, prestige, power, or even standing up for them when others try to expose them. But that is their claim to fame. That's what they do. And they do it very well. What's more, the job is very easy because most people are gullible with an unshakable belief in the inherent goodness of man.








Once You Expose The Psychopath Expect Them To Do The Following:


- Smear you to everyone they can, including making up whole websites just to smear you (Pathologicals believe, like small children, if they SAY something - long enough & loud enough that people will believe them and it will supplant facts and become truth.)


- Harrass you, your friends or your family by phone, email or website postings
(be sure to BLOCK their emails and instant messages or DO NOT REPLY - just save them. Don't READ THEM and DON'T TRY TO 'figure out what they mean.' They are mentally disordered and can't be figured out!

- If they threaten you or your family, go immediately to the authorities with all hard proof and if necessary, demand a report be filed.)

- Minimize, whitewash or twist the truth about what happened between you to their friends, family, spouse, partners, co-workers, anyone who will listen (and accuse you of doing all the things they did to you - i.e. Projection)

- Do everything they can to make YOU look like the sick, mentally ill or not credible person

- Use their friends/ spouses in denial, other predators, coworkers to help them discredit and smear you or harm you physical and psychologically.

- They may post on boards you belong to or hack a website if you have one.






Do not respond to your cyberpath/psychopath - but certainly tell the truth when asked and wherever you can. Get therapy to deal with the stress of the aftermath. Anyone who believes the cyberpath is not your problem.


To the Cyberpaths - Lie to everyone you can, if you must - but the truth remains. We know it, you know it and you can twist in the winds of your 'conveniently rewritten realities' but a lie is a lie. Be sure to read legal definitions before you accuse someone of slander, libel or defamation and don't be surprised when it backfires on you.


The Narcissistically injured on the other hand, cannot rest until he has blotted out a vaguely experienced offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him, or to outshine him.

It can never find rest because it can never wipe out the evidence that has contradicted its conviction it is unique and perfect. This archaic rage goes on and on and on. -Group Helplessness and Rage Ernest S. Wolf, MD



Article Source EOPC





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