Stop Trolling!! Married Means M-A-R-R-I-E-D

Married means married, Moron

It's getting to the point where I can't even read those stupid personal ads anymore, not even for fun.

They're loaded with married people, bitching about their spouses, and looking for something "better".

I've got a few things to tell you:

1. "She" is not the reason your marriage sucks. YOU are.

If you spent half as much time paying attention to your wife as you do trolling CraigsList (or other sites) for sex, your marriage would be a whole lot better.

2. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard it a thousand times. You're in a sexless marriage.

First of all, that's probably a lie, because most cheaters are liars too. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, pal- if your wife isn't interested in sex, it's because you're not offering sex that's interesting. Married guys get awfully boring after a while. They do the same boring thing the same boring way every single time and then -- they expect you to scream like a porn star.




Seriously, you come home from work, totally ignore her while she chases the kids around for 4 hours, makes dinner, does the laundry, blah blah blah, and then you expect her to roll over with her legs open for another session of same-old same-old? When are you idiots going to learn that the best foreplay in the world for a woman is watching you take care of the kids, vacuum the floor, pick up the dog poo in the backyard. Or how about just listening when she talks? You know, it's not that hard to stop thinking about yourself for five minutes and hear what she has to say.

Think about it - way back when, when you were getting your brains ****ed out on a regular basis - what were YOU doing differently than you're doing now? Planning dates, telling her she looked nice, acting like you're happy to be with her? A thousand dollars says if you do that stuff again you'll get the same result.


3. Spare us. Your kids are NOT the reason you're staying married. If you were THAT miserable, you'd leave whether you had kids or not. If you're not getting a divorce it's because YOU DON'T WANT TO. For whatever reason.

At least be honest and don't try to feed people that tired line about staying married for the kids. Contrary to what you think, it doesn't make you look like a poor suffering but honorable victim. You obviously don't care enough about your kids to treat their mother with enough respect not to cheat on her, and you don't care about them enough to spend time with THEM instead of some vulnerable woman who falls for your carefully constructed lies, so cut it out with that crap. (BTW - did you even BOTHER to tell her you're MARRIED with KIDS?)

There is absolutely nothing honorable about putting your **** ahead of your kids. If you really really cared about them, you would get offline put ALL your time and effort and money into saving the one thing that means most to them in the whole world - your marriage and their family. Otherwise you're full of crap.

4. We all know how bored you are. Poor you, someone should really come along to entertain you.

What are you, 12 years old? If you're bored with your marriage, it's because YOU'RE BORING, and have you ever stopped to think that if you're bored, she probably is too? But instead of throwing a temper tantrum like a 2 year old, she's at home cleaning out the lint trap on the dryer and washing kool-aid off the kitchen floor. Yeah, she's having a riot washing your underwear and cleaning up cat puke.

Marriage is hard work. Heck, life is hard work. Grow up and take some responsibility for yourself. You supposedly have a brain, USE it. Put some thought into your marriage and some effort into your life and stop blaming her and being a baby because life isn't fun.

5. You're looking for someone "younger."

Sure you are. You think you look the same as you did when you got married? I'd bet not. Even if you do, you haven't spent the last 10 years having babies (the ones YOU wanted) and sacrificing your body for them. The next time you have to have someone stitch your ***hole together because you just blew a saint bernard out of your ass, then you can squawk. If you ever spend 9 months with your belly stretched to obscene proportions, and manage to look exactly the same as you used to 6 weeks later, then you can whine about how "she's not attractive anymore." Until then, shut the **** up.

You have no concept of what she has sacrificed to give you the children you "claim" to love. You really think she wants varicose veins and stretch marks and a distended belly and saggy boobs? Get real. What she wants is a man who understands and values WHY she has varicose veins and stretch marks and a distended belly and saggy boobs. She wants a man who loves her because she was willing to make those sacrifices with her own body because she loves HIM. Instead, you criticize and go running off with the first perky 25 year old who gives you the time of day. (or the first vulnerable woman who's being ignored by her man or is vulnerable enough in some way that her b.s. radar is damaged while you put the NLP whamma-jamma on her and say "I love you" just get her to spread her legs for you.) Ugh.

6. And finally, if you're cheating on your wife, there's something wrong with YOU.

If you're not happy with your marriage, exactly how do you think screwing some sl*t you barely know is going to fix that? Exactly how is that going to make anyone happy? Have you ever actually heard of adultery or an online affair working out really well for everyone involved? Are you actually stupid enough to think that you're going to be the exception to that rule? If so, you are delusional and you need professional help.

Affairs are disasters - not some of the time; not most of the time; ALL OF THE TIME. Your guilt and trying to cover your tracks will drive you crazy. Someone WILL find out. You will NOT be able to keep up the lies and the deception. And it will all lead up to a disaster of epic proportions, which leads me to Lucky #7.

7. Here‘s what you can expect in the wake of your little ****-fest:

Divorce - this is where you lose everything- your wife, your house, half your income and possessions, possibly your job if you're stupid enough to be screwing around with a co-worker, your kids - EVERYTHING. You will LOSE IT ALL.

Exposure - this is where everyone finds out what a scumbag you are. And they WILL find out. Your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your family, HER family, your neighbors, the parents of your kids‘ friends, everyone at your church. They WILL find out. Why? Because your now ex-wife and/ or ex-girlfriend(s) will tell them. She will probably tell everyone she knows, and everyone you know, and she will feel good doing it. Consider yourself lucky if she doesn't rent a billboard.

Oh, and DON'T try to paint yourself as the 'victim' of jealous or obsessed or scorned women. We all know that's a lie, too.

You lied to your wife and your probably lying to all your girlfriends as well as lying about one to the other. Otherwise, all bets are off. Be prepared.

Your Kids - this is where you totally lose the respect of your kids, and you deserve to lose it. They will realize in pretty short order that you didn't care enough about them to keep your pants on. They will see their mother cry and they will hate you for it. They will end up shuttling back and forth between their home and your apartment, and they will hate you for it. Every time they have to tell someone that their parents are divorced, they will hate you for it.

And God forbid you decide to "introduce" them to your shiny new soulmate/ ****buddy; they will REALLY hate you for that. If your kids are really young, you have a little time before all this hits the fan, but be warned, it's coming. They will forever see you as the moron who broke up or disrupted their family. Even if you stick around - they will know that you can't be trusted, that you are weak and immoral and selfish. And they'll figure it out all by themselves, even if you never talk to them about it. Because your kids are smarter than you are at this point.

And when your new "soulmate" figures out your real agenda, bend over and kiss it goodbye. If all she does is "expose you" after she finds out you ripped her heart out at the root - you should thank her not smear her. It's nothing less than what you asked for.

So, go ahead and whine your pathetic nonsense about how you're a victim and your wife is a horrible shrew. Do your best to convince yourself and everyone around you that you didn't have any choice and your wife "drove you to it." Start with the rationalizations and justifications now; you're going to need a lot of them.

Remember that the best defense is a good offense and start a mental list of all the ways your wife is deficient. Make sure to re-write the history of your marriage so that you can say that you were miserable from the first day. You should have married that OTHER girl (who probably dumped your sorry ***)

Be sure to tell your wife that you love her, you're just not "in love" with her anymore. Deal with your guilt by lashing out at everyone around you.


Above all, take ZERO responsibility for any problems YOU may have that caused you to be such a spineless loser in the first place.

Cyberpaths Website

Read more!

The Guide To Online Players.

OK. So you've joined the online-dating site, and you're sitting back, waiting on the flood of offers ... good for you!! The online- dating arena can be a source of joy ... however ... HOWEVER ... for some of the guys on the site you've joined (and it really doesn't matter which site it is!) you are simply FRESH MEAT.

Yep, the players are waiting, scanning profiles daily or, in the case of the true professionals, hourly. They're scanning for an indication you are NEW and thus much more likely to be naive, vulnerable or, forgive me, a tad slow in getting with the program! Ideally, you'll be all three ...

Some players will contact you almost instantly. They figure it's worth the risk of 'getting in there' first and attempting to 'sweep you off your feet' before the 'true professionals' move in.

Others play a longer, more subtle and strategic, game. The second group of guys hang-fire for a few days. They regularly/frequently check out your profile (knowing you'll know they've done this!) - and then they contact you.

The real masters, though, hang-fire for weeks. They do this because there's every possibility YOU will contact them and they're also currently occupied playing fresh meat from a few weeks ago. And you'll contact them because? Well, you'll do it because you've seen them looking at you of course and you may imagine they're too timid/nervous to contact you!! They're also aware the crude amateurs will have annoyed you sooooo much by then, their interest in you will appear extremely genuine by comparison.

By now you should be getting the idea there are TWO types of player. The instant gratification guys (IGGs) and the more subtle long-game guys (LGGs).



The fact is, while many people are very serious about meeting others on the internet for the purpose of establishing a meaningful relationship, others just aren't. How do you know? Sincere people don't put on an act, insincere people do.

Who's seriously there to meet others and who isn't? By following the basic tips Covered Here, you can often get a feel by just calling them (or not getting their number or real e-mail address after time) of whether or not they're for real, but here are some other ways you can tell.


When They're Just Playing

After you've chatted for what seems like a respectable amount of time - clearly you feel it's time to proceed to a phone call. They don't. That's a Red Flag. If they're only ever content to chat online and not on the phone, they're probably not for real. The extent of their involvement with you will likely always ever be limited to what they're able to get away with from their home or office computer. Who's there that might answer the phone? What will you hear when they do answer the phone? Ask yourself this one question: Is there any reason that they shouldn't want to chat on the phone with you? If the answer is no - and you're not being unreasonable (i.e. pushing for a phone call after just one or two chats), then there's something amiss. Make it very clear, if they're not able to talk on the phone with you, then you're moving on as they're not serious. Let them protest on line all they want. If they can't take it any farther than online, they're not for real. Move on.


When They're Married

Some of the "hottest" chatters I've ever seen are married. It seems that they either feel unappreciated or unattractive in their marriages, but boy oh boy are they the belle of the ball online. They are overly flirtatious, flattering, and seem to demand a great deal of attention. They have incredibly "hot" handles. They get most of their attention from the men, who almost clamor for their recognition. The things they will do in chat rooms are, at times, shocking. But they will never meet you. They may entertain phone calls when their spouses are away, but challenge them to tell you just one person they've ever met in real life. Uh uh.. they can't do it. Best advice: Steer clear of these people. Men or Women, they seem to act the same. Men are overly flattering and complimentary, women too hot to handle it seems. If you aren't getting a real e-mail address from them after several anonymous e-mail addressed letters and chats, challenge them for the real deal. Ask them point blank if they're married. If you really start to fall and fall hard for someone who was overly affectionate almost immediately - invest a bit in a background check.



You'll find out a lot about them, but most importantly, you'll find out if they're married or whether or not they've actually ever filed for that divorce they keep promising you is pending. That's public record stuff. As an aside, there is a very small percentage - real small - of men and women who go on line for the purpose of fantasizing and having hot and sexy discussions. They just don't do it in matching/singles sites, they do it in adult sites - and that's the difference.



Con Artists, Scammers and Other Predators -

What is a predator as it relates to the net? A predator is someone who seeks a certain type of prey. Lonely, employed, not too many friends or relatives, they are ripe for the plucking and pluck they will. NEVER TELL ANYONE HOW MUCH YOU EARN!. People who are aware of what certain occupations pay, would never ask. People who want to know if you can afford to support them will. People who intend to defraud you of money, take advantage of you, or get you to "help them out of a bind" will first determine if you are even financially worthwhile to them. THEY WILL NEVER WASTE THEIR TIME WITH YOU IF YOU AREN'T.


Now I can hear you saying “I would never fall for that, I’m not that stupid” but believe me a withering wallflower is not a great challenge to them, although it won’t stop them using them for practice but a confident savvy individual is just the challenge they are looking for.


These people know what they are doing, they have been at this game for years honing their skills. No doubt they began as clumsy amateurs but by now they are skilled professionals. Unless you have been a victim and so are wise to their game it is well worth a little research to understand what they want and how they operate in order to avoid falling into their game.You don't have to claim poverty, but you don't ever brag about your income or finances either. If you meet someone who is genuine, and tells you about some problems they are having financially, go ahead and offer assistance. Test this theory: People you've never met, with any morals or values at all will never accept assistance from a stranger. If you offer someone who relates a few problems to you some assistance, if they are truly genuine and sincere, they will thank you for and appreciate that you cared enough to offer, but they will politely decline your offer.


That's just the way it is. If they pounce on the offer ask yourself how many other people made similar offers and what's the total "take" to date? Uh uh.. move on. Serious issues here. Do not allow yourself to be manipulated. Even if you've chatted for a few times, or you've met in person once or twice, chances are if they hit you up for money, or manage to get you to extend an offer of assistance within a few chats or meetings, you're being set up for the "hit". You will never see them again after you give them money. You will hear from them from time to time, keeping in touch with you is their best defense against criminal prosecution. If you can't absorb the loss, don't do it. They aren't sincere about you, but they are sincerely interested in your money. Walk on by.



No, real players are skilled at their game, they are experienced hunters looking for their next victim. They bide their time and take weeks or even months if necessary to get to know you. They will say all the right things at just the right times ….. well they should be good at it, they get enough practice.

As they talk to you over time they will probably mention some woman/man on the site that is ’stalking’ them, this is a flashing red light. What this actually means is that the ’stalker’ is in fact a previous victim they are continuing to string along.
Unlike people that just enjoy casual sex and then move on, players see their victims as their personal trophy and keep these people hanging on as a symbol of their popularity and skill at the game. In their mind of course there is always the remote possibility they will have a bad weekend without a new victim and may need to call in one of the old ones.


Remember for them it is a game, they are an actor playing the part of James Bond or Marilyn Monroe and will shower you with romance, compliments and be everything you want and need for them to be. For them there is no cheap dirty hotel or fish and chips on the pier, only the best will do and the men will provide it for you and the women will insist on it if you are getting anywhere near their g-string.

Think of these people as trophy hunters, they get their prey in their sights and will go to bizarre lengths to attain their goal. Once they have metaphorically ’shot’ you they have no further interest and will move on to the next victim. The sad part is that the first night or weekend you spend together really is special, they are everything you thought they would be but for them the thrill of the game is now over.

However they will not tell you they are no longer interested, so you will get messages like:

* The ex wife/husband is causing trouble and they don’t want that to interfere in your relationship so can you give them some time to sort their ex out and then you can get back to where you left off.

* They have a sick parent/child/pet that needs to be cared for for a while but as soon as they are better the two of you will go away for a holiday to make up for the lost time.

* Work is manic, a new project is going badly and they have to go away to sort it out for a while but will keep in touch by email and text.

* Their Cancer has returned and they have to move 300 miles away to a clinic in the middle of nowhere with no phones or mailbox



Their reasons for the cool down are always ‘honourable’ and designed to keep you poised to come running when they next click their fingers. It is simply a power trip for them and nothing more, they have invested time and energy into you and are not going to give you up that easily.

They have been at this game for years in most cases and the internet supplies a constantly renewed source of potential victims.

Players will make declarations of growing attachment and emotion very quickly and use nauseating terms like “you are my soul mate” or “I have waited all my life for my perfect partner and here you are”. This can often be before they have even spoken to you on the phone. They are playing into your hopes and dreams of meeting that special someone.





How do I know if he or she is really telling me the truth about...?"


With so many people asking the same question - perhaps now is the time to closely examine how to tell if the person you are dealing with on the "net" is, in fact, the person they are purporting to be. But how? How do we determine this? If we come out and blatantly interrogate them, they will no doubt be offended. On the other hand, this micro-scrutiny may well be what we have to resort to - and in turn, we must be prepared to subject ourselves to the same. Still, a cunning and masterful liar will jump through any hoops to satisfy their goal - so, after some thought, I have put together, based on my own experiences and insights, a list of possible ways to determine if you are dealing with an Honest person.



Listen To Them!

I cannot stress enough the importance of really "listening" to the person you are dealing with. Of course, the notion of "listening" to someone's words on the screen is ridiculous - but if you consider that in the sense they are "speaking" to you - this makes perfect sense. Do they sound too good to be true? We'd all really like to believe the person we are coming to enjoy knowing and speaking with is exactly as they say they are. We want nothing more than to take them at face value. But reading the horror stories we find often that the real-deal is the exception rather than the rule. Read what they are writing - pin them down on "iffy" details - if they refuse to be pinned, or remain evasive, consider that a RED FLAG and proceed with caution!


Does it Make Sense?


What if you are left with questions that, in your mind, really don't make sense - but the person you are speaking with has a quick explanation. Ask yourself, more than once - is it really believable? For example - "I'd love to meet you soon.. but I have some details or personal matters to take care of first" should provide a RED FLAG.

While none of us wants to pry or probe for information, we have to ask ourselves "what kind of personal details or matters are so important that preclude this person from being able to meet me?". Do you have to ask online permission first to call someone? If so, that is a good indication that the person you are dealing with isn't really "free" to meet you at all. Who else lives there? Is it possible the person you are dealing with is still married? While it is true that many people looking for love on-line may still be married, and dealing with the aftermath of terminating their marriages - it's important to establish this well in advance of involving yourself with someone else. Most people understand that often, marriages can take time to end - that doesn't make the person any less available, as long as you can clarify details, and this can be accomplished by calling them at their home (once you have established a comfortable rapport with each other and have exchanged phone numbers).


Call when they aren't expecting your call - do they have an answering machine? Who's voice is on it? Are they secretive, do they speak in hushed tones or are they angry or upset that you called without notice? These are pretty good indications that your unexpected call was not as welcome as you would have liked. If this is the type of response your surprise phone call receives, be prepared for some fancy footwork from the other person when they finally do hook up with you, while they explain the reasons for their reaction. Fancy footwork usually involves weaving a tale that on it's surface - sounds plausible, but little else. Do it again! If your first surprise phone call wasn't as welcome as you would have liked, do it again! If you get the same kind of reaction - you can draw your own conclusions. Make these calls at different times. This does not mean harass anyone! But a couple of calls spread out over the span of a week or two certainly do not equal harassment. After all.. this is someone who is supposedly very interested in you.




Okay. We should be wary of guys who:


Make contact as soon as we join a site.

Have been on the site for an excessive amount of time.

Have high numbers of views.

Spend long periods online.

Regularly hide their profiles.

View our profiles as soon as we join but delay contact for a few days/weeks.

Were about to leave the site and were drawn back by YOU.

Have met a high number of girls from the site.

Have met a ridiculously high proportion of liars, cheats and stalkers on the site.

Have met a ridiculously high proportion of unintelligent, mercenary, shallow, gorgeous girls.

Want to be 'friends' when the site's purpose is dating/romantic relationships.



Finally, trust your intuition. Balance up how guys generally act in the real world with how these online guys act. Is there a MASSIVE mismatch? Does he seem too good to be true? If he's genuinely as perfect, sensitive, thoughtful and caring (or whatever you've ASKED him to be by divulging your innermost thoughts!) as he appears, why hasn't someone snapped him up?? When you naively and adoringly ask him that question, he'll tell you HIS standards are ridiculously high but you ... YOU ... are soooo close to meeting (or even exceeding!) those standards HE'S extremely excited and also a little scared by it!!

Yeah, right!!

Bottom Line: If he seems to good to be true, he probably is.





Read more!

How To Spot The Online Cyberpath/Player.

Most players will fall into one, or more, of the below 23 categories:


The BlowHard ... Wannabes

The relationship will never go anywhere because all he really wants from you is an 'audience' to listen to and believe his bogus stories of danger and bravery. He'll claim to be in law enforcement, or a fireman, or a former green beret, navy seal, etc. OR may claim to be a former pro sports player (baseball, hockey, etc.) who had a promising career and bright future but it was all snatched away from him due to an injury. Or he may say that he is a retired pro player. When you start to put two and two together, or get tired of hearing his never-ending stories of grandeur, then he'll move on to find a new 'audience'.



Mr. BigShot -- also a BlowHard

They may have in their profile that they own their own business [they use that as 'bait' which we women are to translate as "I'm a good catch". No reasonable man would advertise his financial status -- that's an open invitation to credit card hackers, con artists, gold-diggers, etc.] Or they may 'let it slip' early in the relationship that they own their own business. OR ... Mr. All Hot Air may claim to be an attorney, a doctor, a 4-star general or other high-paid professional. Now think about it !!! The same as we women, men want to be loved for themselves, NOT their assets. At our web site we show you how to expose these phonies for what they are.




The Promoter

He will woo 'on the side' a couple of gals who are chat room regulars, and it's strictly only for 'fun' -- for he's happily 'taken' but needs his male ego stroked every now and then. When the time is right, he'll say it's time to let the chat room know that the two of you are an 'item', by suggesting you flirt with him in the room, etc. So you do. The other wooed gal sees you flirting with 'her man' -- and walla, a cat fight in the chat room. What he wanted -- nothing strokes the male ego more than two women fighting over HIM.




The Great Pretender

These are guys that can't find dates for one reason or another and are unkindly labeled as 'losers, geeks' in the real world. As a result, the internet becomes their social life. They romance and have several online girlfriends in compensation. Online they can fantasize themselves to be anyone they want to be -- even 'a real stud'. You won't receive a true pic and you won't ever meet -- for obvious reasons. Number one clue: they'll claim to have dates offline, but how can they when they're on line every night. Yes, they may be in a wheelchair or disfigured from an accident, but that does not give anyone license to deceive, play with another person's emotions, or to use someone.




Internet Body Surfers

TYPE 1: These guys are easy to spot. They broach the subject of sex early in the relationship and generally are only looking for an alternate form of sex due to some form of impotency: cyber sex, phone sex, nude pictures, or videos.

TYPE 2: An El Cheapo Romeo who wants only the real thing and a variety of it -- and not just any ol' harem, but an obliging one -- one that will also foot the bill for 'putting out'. He will use the 'sympathy route' : he's just a poor struggling elementary teacher, social worker, etc., plus he will have some 'bad breaks' to throw in as well. So YOU will fund the romance: make all the LD phone calls, fly/drive there. And when you do rendezvous, don't be surprised that he doesn't take you anywhere: no dining out, no movies -- because he's so strapped, right? No, real reason -- he doesn't want to chance running into any of his local conquests.



Globe Trotters ~ "A Girl in Every Port"

Single/Married players who travel for a living. They have access to a computer at home, at work, and on the road (usually a laptop). They are only interested in finding women online for sex 'on their appointed rounds'. They generally find their 'targets' by perusing the profiles of a particular city in the Member Directory, or the personal ads. Then they do a 'locate' to find you online and check you out, or send you an email stating how they were intrigued by your profile or your ad. After a time, he will tell you he's coming to see you. Truth of the matter is, you happen to live in one of the cities regularly visited on his rounds and can be a sexual convenience.



One Arm Bandits -- (The Con Artists)


Below are two types:

# 1 -- Fly By Night Romeos


Playing upon a woman's tenderheartedness, these players will have a hard luck story about their business going downhill ... or a lost job due to down-sizing, a fabricated accident, health problems/old war injury, or major surgery. OR they may simply give you the popular story of 'the wife got everything in the divorce'. They will give you a line something to the effect: "Right now, I only have my love to give you." BUT yet, he has lots of free time to spend online instead of looking for a job. OR why isn't he spending those long hours online at his business instead, trying to get it back on its feet? The 'willing suspense of disbelief' is often our main downfall.


OR they may romance you first and then tell you after you're hooked bait, line and sinker: "I've got to drop AOL. I can no longer pay for it because ... "My wife's lawyer froze our checking and saving accounts and all our cedit cards." OR "I'm having to file for bankruptcy. My business partner disappeared and I just found out that he has been dipping in the till. I can't make payroll ... I can't pay my creditors. The DA has all my company records...I don't know how long everything is going to be tied up in court". You're deeply in love; you want to continue your long meaningful talks online, hearing his words of love. So you send money for his internet and phone bills because as soon as he's back on his feet he will pay you back, right? Nope ... he will continue to ask for financial help -- until you become hesitant about sending him more money. Then he will suddenly "poof" ... disappear from online.


OR ... he may ask to borrow money so he can fly to see you, "I need to be with you at this bad time in my life, feel you in my arms..." Their victims usually live a great distance from them; the farther away, the costlier the airline tickets. You send the money and he "poofs".





# 2 -- Vacation Hustlers


These guys are only after a cheap but with all the amenities vacation. The MO: would like to go to Florida, so he frequents chat rooms like: Florida Romance, Florida Swingers, etc., scrutinizing profiles and observing behaviors in the chat rooms, and/or peruses the personal ads. In a matter of time he will find a gullible female. After a month or so, a rendezvous is planned ("Let's meet so we can cultivate our love"). He may pay his own travel expenses but everything else will be on you. No car rental / he uses yours. No lodging expense / he stays at your place. No eating out cost / he eats your lovingly prepared home-cooked meals. Lastly, nightly (if not more often) sex. Or he may also 'borrow' his air fare from you with the promise of paying you back right away. Yeah, right. Once he's back home the relationship is over, and you're left wondering if you didn't meet his expectations ... if you were: too fat, too tall/too short, boring company, not good enough 'in the sack', etc. No, he got exactly what he expected from you -- a free ride at your expense.





Rambling Man --- Freeloaders/Sofa Surfers


This type of player is looking for support -- financial support. He'll romance you and then gallantly offer to move to your location saying something to the effect "I love you too much to take you away from your family and friends. I know how much they mean to you. I can get a job there." But he doesn't get a job -- no job suits him for one reason or another. Or he's an alcoholic and can't keep a job ... or worse, a drug addict. Or he has no credit and plans to 'live it up' on your credit cards until they're maxed out, and then he'll move on to his next victim, leaving you holding the bag. Some warning signs to watch for: he lives with his parents or other relative, or in his parents'/friend's cabin (OR in a room at the "Y", but he won't tell you this), he's online day and night (so he can't be employed), says he'll come by bus/train (or you're to come and pick him up) as he's going to sell his car (OR is the truth of the matter, he has no car due to losing his license as a result of too many DUIs, or due to bad credit, etc.?)




The Panhandler


This type of player usually strings along several women at the same time with no intention of a real relationship. He's only after freebies. Once he has you interested in him, he'll casually mention how other women are sending him "things": birthday/Father's Day/Christmas gifts, C/Ds, shirts, jewelry ~ subliminally planting the hint that you should also give him things in order to compete with the other 'also interested' women. In return you will receive: form love-letters and/or FREE email greeting cards. The only flowers you will receive from El Cheapo will be cyber roses ... @-->-->--- ... Cyber <3 Hearts , Cyber :-* Kisses or pictures of flowers "pirated" from web sites. And if you do meet, it will be at YOUR transportation cost.




The Sympathy Hound

He gives you a long sob story and always has a new crisis in his life. All he really wants from you are daily "pity parties".




The Control Freak

He will also have a sob story and use your compassion to manipulate you to get his way. Stories you'll hear:

~ is a Nam vet and suffers post traumatic stress disorder

~ has a bad heart or needs a kidney transplant

~ has cancer but it's in remission, etc.



These supposed afflictions are for the purpose of "control" ... whenever you step out of line, the following reaction will occur:

~ you added to his PTSD depression and he's feeling suicidal

~ he starts getting chest pains

~ he has to go on dialysis

~ the cancer comes out of remission

~ The CIA are after him for what he knows

~ His Grandmother died .....again


Using your feelings of guilt, he will quickly have you back under his thumb again.




THE "GUILT TRIP" PLAYER


If you don't 'play' (fall for his MO which he has worked so hard on), then he will throw a temper tantrum. So, you will receive an email from a supposed friend/relative informing you he committed suicide, implying it was over you, of course. And this supposed friend/relative will continue to contact you for weeks to come with details of the funeral arrangements, details of the funeral, details of how devastated the family is, etc.
OR, you'll be told he was in some terrible accident and is dying -- and you're supposed to feel very badly about how you treated him. Shame on you! LOL


If you receive an email like this, simply go to the web and find his hometown newspaper and check the obituaries, or search for an article about any such accident.




Mr Battered Heart -- Heartstrings Players

TYPE 1: To throw you completely off guard, this player will use the approach of how he can no longer trust women, how he's been hurt by too many women, been "played" too many times. ( Hmmmm. If that is all true, why is he "hitting" on you? ) He'll go on to say how he hates liars and how important honesty is to him -- a complete 'snow job'.

TYPE 2: He'll say he's a widow and the grief is still fresh -- that his wife was the most wonderful woman in the world ... a real saint. After a time, he'll start comparing you to her, that he can't believe how much you are like her. Next comes: he's falling in love with you, thus he's fulfilling his wife's dying wish to not be alone the rest of his life, but to move on and find another woman to make as happy as he did her. But he'll neglect to mention how many other women he's giving the same 'touching' story.




"Hit and Run" Players

They generally are not interested in a relationship. They use the internet for a 'testing ground' to prove how smart and clever they are. Either they just about have their MO 'down to a science' and are fine tuning it, OR they feel their MO is infallible. Either way, they need 'guinea pigs' to find what minor improvements are needed, or to keep substantiating that they are Masters of the Game. You will receive love songs and poems, links to romantic web sites, state of the art form love-letters(from trial and error they know what does and does not work on women). The duration of the relationship depends on how much a challenge you are or how easy you are. Then they're off to work their 'moves' on someone else.



Married But .....

These players are married men who have NO intention of divorce (due to religious beliefs, or married the wife for her money, or might lose the business due to the split-up of marital assets, etc.) They feel they're being neglected by the wife, or may be going thru a mid-life crisis and just want to see if they still 'Got It' with women, or are simply bored with life. They find they can receive ego-flattering attention or excitement from an online romance. In most cases, the only type of relationship you will have with this type of player is a 'dead-end' one.




Single But in a Relationship

They are in a 'commitment' but are in the same frame of mind as the above scenario. This type of player is usually not online much on weekends, holidays, or during dinner time -- when their mate is home. Unlike in a marriage, if the live-in lover feels neglected she's free to walk or kick him out as she has no 'ties that bind'. They rarely give out their home phone numbers, unless the live-in lover works a different shift. They usually call from work, or use phone cards or cell phones. As opposed to a single guy in a commitment, usually a 'married' guy has established to his wife and/or family that he is hooked on the puter and a holiday would not be any reason to act differently. As long as he is 'in house', what difference does it make if he is on the puter or not? Bottom-line: married guys do what THEY want to do (my way or the highway) and the wife is in the 'acceptance' mode.




CyberPath Online Sociopaths


These are the worse of the bunch -- the mental cases. This type looks for the easy to bait, vulnerable women: widows, newly divorcees, women recovering from a recent heartbreak, etc. They start out romancing you like a player does but it's for an ulterior motive; they become the online harasser, the stalker ... or worst.





Emotion Hitchhikers ~ a CyberPath


They generally look for their 'pigeons' in rooms that involve emotional support: widows & widowers, Al-Anon, divorced, etc. (sensitive people or people that are more vulnerable). They will start out as being this great and wonderful guy who has been wrongfully hurt or is in a lot of emotional pain. They will use two (or more)different screen names pretending to be two or more persons: one who is a guy falling in love with you -- the other,a guy who just wants your friendship -- and/or pretend to be their son/daughter, mother/brother, neighbor/best friend, etc. After they have you madly in love with them, then they will fake their death. You will receive an email from a family member or friend informing you he: was brutally murdered, or died horribly in a car crash -- it will always be some terrible form of death. Then, using their other screen name, they will hear firsthand of your reaction: hear all your grief and complete devastation ... getting a 'high' from your emotions. [ Again, if you receive an email like this, simply go to the web and find his hometown newspaper ]
OR they may tell you they just found out they have cancer, terminal -- of course -- and drag it out for six months or so, getting daily "highs" from your sympathies and your heartbreak. When the "highs" start to falter, then you will receive notice of their 'very painful' death. [ NOTE: Ask what doctor they're going to and then check a doctors directory on the web to see if that doctor does treat cancer, or etc. Ask what treatment they're taking and then go on the web, like WebMD, and read up on the disease/condition. See if they're telling the truth about their treatments, medications, etc. ]




Victor/Victoria -- Yet another CyberPath


A lesbian or a female bisexual who pretends to be a man and 'hits' on unsuspecting heterosexual women for amusement, a buzz, a power trip, or etc. In one reported case, the she/he was a DJ and had sound-altering equipment which enabled her to have a male voice over the phone. In another case, the she/he used the excuse to not talk on the phone: "I had vocal cord surgery for the removal of cysts and can only talk for a very short time and then my voice starts cracking." And another case, "I lost my voice due to being shot in the throat in Nam."





Mr Repeat Offender

Most players -- that is, the internet name you knew them by -- disappear when you start putting 2 and 2 together. The name BUT not always the player. Some of these men have such a cruel streak, they may approach you again -- using a different name ... just to see if they can take you for another ride. Watch for the same phrases, expressions, speech patterns, the same mis-spelled words, the same typing style (doesn't use capital letters, uses all caps, doesn't use any punctuation, uses a lot of ...'s or dashes, etc.)




WHY DO PLAYERS DO THIS???


Because we become their ENABLERS. That is . . .


~ IF we accept everything they tell us as the truth
and do not bother to check the validity of their name,
address, marital status, job, etc.


~ IF we do not keep notes of the personal info they
give us which enables us to watch for discrepancies


~ IF we don't check to see if they're blocking us at times
when they're online


~ IF we do not listen to our feminine intuition warning
us that there's something not quite right


~ IF we ignore any "warning flag" at all . . .
then, YES, we enable a player to play us.

Source





Read more!