tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5950976189778332581.post2597499135662447237..comments2023-05-06T07:24:21.633-07:00Comments on Living With A Psychopath - When The Mask Slips.: In The Arms Of A Monster - Sex, Control, Depravity & The Psychopath (Gareth Rodger)PNDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06007966650835440593noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5950976189778332581.post-50395545891027716812010-01-29T11:32:10.348-08:002010-01-29T11:32:10.348-08:00It was a heartbreaking post to read. How true it i...It was a heartbreaking post to read. How true it is - only those know and understand who went through the same horrifying narcissistic abuse. <br />It's been over a decade now and I still haven't recovered from the abuse I suffered at the hands of Mr. Marvellous. The mental, emotional and spiritual abuse was topped with sexual abuse and I kept it quiet for years out of fears. It took over ten years to open up, unleash my pain and shame, and to realize what really was going on in that relationship. I have never heard of narcissists or pysychopaths - if I did, I never understood the depth of their rottenness. Just now, when I opened up about my past, did I learn the nature of my past abuse. It is blood chilling but it helps in my recovery - although I don't think I will ever recover from the humiliation and from the traumatic bonding I'm still having, and been having for so many years, however deeply I tried to bury it..<br />Thanks for sharing! Wonderful article..Lnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5950976189778332581.post-37111061685278770502010-01-27T22:55:09.866-08:002010-01-27T22:55:09.866-08:00This is v true and vivid explanation. I realized o...This is v true and vivid explanation. I realized only 20 days back that my husband is same - only after I left his home for my maternal home with 2 daughters (7&3). My husband was same but few things were mild in my case as I was a strong person (also well connected) and somewhere he feared that I would not only leave him but he can get in serious trouble if I come to know of his true self. But mostly the acts and feelings were similar.<br /><br />He started telling me that he hates me and wants to pull my nails and then fingers etc and would also say that he would brake my arms and legs and will then serve me all my life. He lost job 6 months back and was waiting to get a good one so he can really do all sort of bad things to me.<br /><br />He had put detectives on me and softwares on my mobile and then encouraged me to meet my ex. Later, tortured me for meeting him although, there was nothing wrong that I did but he would make me feel guilty and show his revenge and hatred and then prove that he loves me so much. He blackmailed me and started behaving very strangely. When he wanted to be normal and loving, he would show all that and within no time, he will look into my eyes and would love to see me in fear.<br /><br />He recently beat me v brutally and banged my head on wall and floor before my children. He later pretended as he is asleep and in morning looked at me from distance and just noticed me but did not come for help or show any remorse or regret. It was only when he realised that I still love him and have not taken medicine that he came to put medicine and kiss on those marks and later have sex.<br /><br />As I pushed him much to behave better and take responsibility, find job, during last month -he lost his controls and wanted to take full control over me. <br /><br />He was afraid of a friend who he initially brought between us to keep an eye on me and to terrorize me - who when figured that I was sane and he was lying to him all the time - started convincing him that we both love each other and he should focus on right things. Now, he took this person as his enemy who has joined my camp and worked on removing him from our life as he was now support to me and my husband feared him as well. However, as by talking to him I figured some of reality and confronted him, he feared if I would know all about his life and him sleeping with prostitutes and using girls for years, him being too much in porn world. He also loved to click pictures when doing intercourse and also making our videos to which I would generally not allow but would manage it many times.<br /><br />Only when I left him (just to give him shock so that he realises that he needs to change), I was shocked to find my pics on web in his dating accounts. It is not easy to locate anyone account and such pics/vedios over web but luckily to prove that he loves me when I ws moving out of house to show his surender he gave me his general email password - that had nothing but fortunately I found an email that I felt is his account and whjen searched with same found his dating accounts and my pics. It was only after that with my family support that I realised that he is a Pshycopath.<br /><br />I am determined but still feel for him and feel that I can somehow help him get better otherewise he will get worse. I know I was a victim from beginning and my elder daughter indirectly suffered too (although all of us would suffer). But its very difficult to not love the person who you are sheltering from world for years. Everyone keeps telling you - that why didn't I share anything before - but it is very difficult or impossible to explain as how we ourselves give them more shelter and space for them to become successful and that they are looked before world as 'Normal' and in the process become more victimized and loose all control of our life to them.<br /><br />I considfer myself lucky to be out of it in time as now I can see that it could have been worse if I would have stayed even for some more time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5950976189778332581.post-77506244982071796432010-01-27T22:54:47.067-08:002010-01-27T22:54:47.067-08:00This is v true and vivid explanation. I realized o...This is v true and vivid explanation. I realized only 20 days back that my husband is same - only after I left his home for my maternal home with 2 daughters (7&3). My husband was same but few things were mild in my case as I was a strong person (also well connected) and somewhere he feared that I would not only leave him but he can get in serious trouble if I come to know of his true self. But mostly the acts and feelings were similar.<br /><br />He started telling me that he hates me and wants to pull my nails and then fingers etc and would also say that he would brake my arms and legs and will then serve me all my life. He lost job 6 months back and was waiting to get a good one so he can really do all sort of bad things to me.<br /><br />He had put detectives on me and softwares on my mobile and then encouraged me to meet my ex. Later, tortured me for meeting him although, there was nothing wrong that I did but he would make me feel guilty and show his revenge and hatred and then prove that he loves me so much. He blackmailed me and started behaving very strangely. When he wanted to be normal and loving, he would show all that and within no time, he will look into my eyes and would love to see me in fear.<br /><br />He recently beat me v brutally and banged my head on wall and floor before my children. He later pretended as he is asleep and in morning looked at me from distance and just noticed me but did not come for help or show any remorse or regret. It was only when he realised that I still love him and have not taken medicine that he came to put medicine and kiss on those marks and later have sex.<br /><br />As I pushed him much to behave better and take responsibility, find job, during last month -he lost his controls and wanted to take full control over me. <br /><br />He was afraid of a friend who he initially brought between us to keep an eye on me and to terrorize me - who when figured that I was sane and he was lying to him all the time - started convincing him that we both love each other and he should focus on right things. Now, he took this person as his enemy who has joined my camp and worked on removing him from our life as he was now support to me and my husband feared him as well. However, as by talking to him I figured some of reality and confronted him, he feared if I would know all about his life and him sleeping with prostitutes and using girls for years, him being too much in porn world. He also loved to click pictures when doing intercourse and also making our videos to which I would generally not allow but would manage it many times.<br /><br />Only when I left him (just to give him shock so that he realises that he needs to change), I was shocked to find my pics on web in his dating accounts. It is not easy to locate anyone account and such pics/vedios over web but luckily to prove that he loves me when I ws moving out of house to show his surender he gave me his general email password - that had nothing but fortunately I found an email that I felt is his account and whjen searched with same found his dating accounts and my pics. It was only after that with my family support that I realised that he is a Pshycopath.<br /><br />I am determined but still feel for him and feel that I can somehow help him get better otherewise he will get worse. I know I was a victim from beginning and my elder daughter indirectly suffered too (although all of us would suffer). But its very difficult to not love the person who you are sheltering from world for years. Everyone keeps telling you - that why didn't I share anything before - but it is very difficult or impossible to explain as how we ourselves give them more shelter and space for them to become successful and that they are looked before world as 'Normal' and in the process become more victimized and loose all control of our life to them.<br /><br />I considfer myself lucky to be out of it in time as now I can see that it could have been worse if I would have stayed even for some more time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com